THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

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  1. What the fuck? I never knew this…

    ”

    Zimmer began his career playing keyboards and synthesizers. He worked with The Buggles, a New Wave band formed in 1977 with Trevor Horn, Geoff Downes, and Bruce Woolley. Zimmer can be seen briefly in The Buggles’ music video for the 1979 song “Video Killed the Radio Star”.

  2. That song played some important role in the movie Take This Waltz. I didn’t get it, fuck that movie. You’d dig it though. And this all relates because there’s a scene where retardo is swimming under water and she makes a face….and that’s when I knew THAT’s where Heath drew all his inspiration for joker from that clown.

  5. Finally saw MIB3 last night based SOULY off of Cheetoh’s recommendation, since he seems to be the only one able to recommend worth a Damn. Solid flick, no way will Bane be half as awesome as Jemaine’s Boris.

  6. Ok how about within the hour after seeing it you come here and just post a fist rating. Like an initial knee jerk reaction to the movie. No paragraphs or shit just a fucking fist rating. THEN an hour after that see if you still feel that way.

  8. And the idea with this thread, after we all see it….we’re gonna discuss it here, in the open. Raw.

    No fucking emailing each other bullshit.

    Don’t even mention Batman to me privately for the next 6 months.

    I want all thoughts and discussion here, so Faust can quickly reference it next time he’s seducing one’a them Polynesian girls he’s always going on about.

  13. Yeah, MIB 3 was a turd. Just a lazy piece of shit. The idea that a functioning adult could sit through that Andy Warhol scene and still consider the movie a worthwhile endeavor is astounding to me. Shame on you all.

    And Clement was fucking awful. Totally wasted. beyond underwritten. They likely payed him millions of dollars to just stand there and do nothing. I’m honestly curious to see if he even had any lines in the script or if he just showed up and was instructed to say random general shit that could be interpreted in different ways when they figured out how the movie was supposed to end. The scene where he talks to himself, in particular, is shockingly bad. Like an actor on stage stalling because he’s forgotten his lines. It’s weird that the guys who thought up Eggar could deliver something this shitty and pointless.

  15. And why would anyone pay that fucker millions of dollars?

    His worthless show ended years ago, and since then he’s done a few cartoon voices?

    Nobody gives a shit about him. He was probably paid scale and he took the job cause he needed some hours to renew his health insurance.

  20. Pain N Gain. Bad Boys 3. Whatever. I just want Bay to start making R rated films again. Watching Trans 3 you could totally feel his frustration at having to deal with a PG-13 rating. Like he was wishing it was humans up on the screen getting shot in the head and having their limbs torn off.

  21. Yeah, I don’t see that at all….he was never a gory filmmaker into the brutality….the one thing he misses in PG-13 is humorous use of the word FUCK.

    But he’s always made broad audience friendly films, R or not…have you seen anything of his before Transformers?

  22. Pain and Gain is gonna play into the dark comedy of the situation. No way in fuck is the sawing of the limbs and dumping the bodies in barrels of acid gonna play it up as this horrifying thing….he’s gonna go for the audience friendly shit, as he always does. It’ll be more Weekend at Bernie’s than Hostel.

  23. If he plays it as comedy it’ll be even more terrifying and upsetting than reading the actual story.

    Also family friendly? What the fuck?

    Did you miss Lawrence and Smith throwing dead bodies out of a hearse in front of moving vehicles in Bad Boys 2? Or how about Lawrence wanting to fuck that dead chick in the morgue?

  24. Armageddon and Pearl harbor were probably family friendly but I haven’t seen any of them in years and well….fuck those movies. I’m talking about The Rock and the Bad Boys series.

  26. Yeah…there’s violence and weird shit in Bad Boys movies, but it’s always played for the comedy, and the films as a whole always sparkle with a sheen of broad mainstream family entertainment. I remember both Bad Boys were filled with families and kids. Dads fucking love taking their kids to those movies. It’s like Bay was able to bring back the fun violence of the 80s….where it’s no big deal for kids to see.

    It’s not like he’s making some stupid joyless DRIVE kinda bullshit.

    Next to Nolan, he’s one of our greatest populist artists.

  29. Bahahah I thought it was going to be a Nolan doing a Funny or Die thing and I couldn’t believe it so I had to see it myself…THEN IT’S some fucking bootleg shot of the movie I turned it off after five minutes.

  40. Bay lost me at The Island. I saw an advance screening and afterwards when they asked me what i thought, the dude with the clipboard looked at me blankly because i spoke more than one sentence. i asked him if I needed to repeat myself so he could write it all down, but instead he went about explaining what a clone is to the old lady behind me and asking what she thought, because Bay’s demographic is old ladies.
    I still enjoy The Rock. “You’re best.Losers always whine about their best “

  41. The Island is probably my favorite of his, it’s an all around solid film in every department…The Rock hasn’t aged very well. It feels super corny now, some of the worst stunt-doubles I’ve seen outside of Face/Off, and recently I realized I’ve never really given a fuck about anything Connery’s done outside of First Knight.

    Overall, Pearl Harbor is probably the best looking shit he’ll ever shoot.

    And of course, Bad Boys II is his funniest.

  43. No. Why would I give a shit about that?

    A few minutes prior was that nauseating bit by that annoying little wop Danny Nucci…

    “An incursion underwater and an impregnable fortress and 80 hostages and poison gas and fuck fuck fuck fuck…”

    ….so I wasn’t sad to see him get popped, no.

    Also Ed Harris screaming every 30 seconds….pretty eye-rolling, brah.

  44. Haha. Just remembered Nucci’s death rattle after getting clipped and falling down the ladder and Cage’s shocked reaction. Also Biehn dying in slo-mo while still firing rounds. I need to throw that shit on again today at some point. Maybe now even.

  45. Pearl Harbor is a good movie, if you have a vagina.
    Come on, Connery’s stunt double is totally believable with his whiter than normal wig and a physical build twice as large as Sean.
    So what if the Hummer crashes head on into a parked car and in the next scene drives right by it towards an 30 year old stunt woman who they gave a hat, glasses and a walker to to make her ‘old’.
    Movie definately has its faults but i still enjoy the heck out of it.

  48. Nawww….Pearl Harbor is manly as fuck. It has the historical romance shit, sure….but it’s got more dick-blood pumping through it than any of the goofy bullshit in The Rock.

    Baldwin’s dialogue alone is fucking epic.

    “You know at Pearl they hit us with a sledgehammer. This raid, even if it makes it through, it’ll only be a pinprick… but it’ll be straight through their hearts. ”

    “Victory belongs to those who believe in it the most and believe in it the longest. We’re gonna believe. We’re gonna make America believe too. ”

    “I wasn’t built to be a prisoner… so I would have my crew bail out. I’d find the sweetest military target I could and drive my plane right smack into the middle of it and kill as many of those [chink] bastards as I possibly could.”

  49. And I don’t care about the realism of The Rock….that’s not the point. It’s just not very fun…it’s more tedious and annoying for me. I like Goodspeed San Francisco stuff, I like his character…and he gets on good with Connery….but once they get to the island, the film loses all its charm and turns into this lame showcase of stuntmen being thrown around and shooting at random villains that aren’t very intimidating. There’s not one bad ass heavy in that whole fucking thing. The concept of crazy militia type fucks taking hostages on Alcatraz is awesome and offers a world of possibilities….but the last 30 minutes or so is just fucking lame, and there’s no real final villain battle. No one is actually evil, we just get this pussy redemption story where Ed realizes he did the wrong thing and the whole thing feels worthless.

    It’s just very pussified….I need my action to have balls.

    When the most fun shit in a movie called THE ROCK, is Connery’s bit with the cock-smoking hair stylist, and tossing that cocksucker John Spencer off the side of the building….yeah you got problems.

    FUCK ED HARRIS.

  50. Actually, thinking about it…..that movie would’ve been way more fun if it was just a sorta rip-off of Midnight Run, with Goodspeed escorting Connery to the Feds…they get into lots of shit…car chases, bar fights, hooker escapades, along the way Goodspeed starts to like the guy and discovers something to prove he was framed, then takes him to see his daughter….ends with some bad ass car chase and Mason disappearing….Goodspeed is taken into custody, ends with some little note where we know Mason will break him out.

    Embrace the buddy comedy….cause that was the best shit they had. The villains and most of the action and the actual ‘plot’ fucking sucked dick.

    And it’s one of Zimmer’s all time worst scores….it’s basically just a pussy Crimson Tide.

  51. Two things will be broken Friday: Bale’s back…and that cunt Devin Faraci’s ass cherry. MARK MY FUCKING WORDS.

    The Rock is ok…the mai issue I had with it is (well besides Nic Cage who I tend to hate) Ed Harris’ team seems so fucking incompetent. Is this really the best he could scrounge? And that shit with the Seals…no Seal Team would EVER make as many mistakes as they did. But it’s supposed to be escapist and I get that…but then go all out and have more fun with it. Shit took itself a tad seriously.

    FUCK NIC CAGE.

  53. And I don’t really care about the incompetence thing….the way they took the island and locked up the tourists was probably more swift and competent than any of those fucking retards in ALIENS, and everyone pretends to dig that….so fuck it. That’s all fine…but in this supposed FUN action thing, give me a memorable villain, not just a crew of nobawwwdies and Ed Harris being bald, with that pussy glint in his eye like he just saw Radio for the first time.

    The best fucking dynamic was the ménage à trois of Captain Corelli, Draco and that cocksucking motherfucker Womack….they should’ve been the three main players. Anything else and fuck you.

  55. I will never understand how people can call Bay’s films shit and turn around and gobble the choad of a Wheadon or Abrams.

    What the good fuck is this world coming to?

    God bless Michael Bay. At least he’s honest about it.

    • True, he’s honest. But you must admit if he had done Transformers, like he did Dark of the Moon, he would have received waaaaaaaay less criticism, and much more praise. We could have done without Transformers 2, the Quickening.

  57. Apparently his review has a ton of spoilers so I haven’t read it but Ebert only gave it a 3/4. He gave 4/4 to BB and TDK. This is a guy who seemed like he would eat up any slop Nolan served up. This is troubling.

  60. I think I’m just going to go in expecting it to be a piece of shit. That way I’ll have to walk out feeling okay about it no matter what. Kind of wish my family wasn’t going with me now. If they’re disappointed there’s no way I won’t be.The soft Ebert recomendation killed it for me.

    FUCK.

  63. Alright alright Odo….I bit, here’s what Ebert’s review comes down to:

    “The result, in Christopher Nolan’s conclusion to his Batman trilogy, is an ambitious superhero movie with two surprises: It isn’t very much fun, and it doesn’t have very much Batman.”

    And I say…GOOD. That’s exactly what I fucking want. The most interesting moments in this series have always been the Bruce tragedies. I think it’s partially what grabbed people about the reboot from the start, for the first time Bruce really became the star. Not Batman, and not the fucking villains. And for this last one, I’ve been hoping Batman doesn’t actually RISE until like a half hour from the end, and then it’s nonstop ball crushing from there. I know it won’t go down that way, but still….the minimal Batman approach has always worked for the series.

    Also, do remember, Ol’ Applesauce Gills was the one that said Edge of Darkness was a “skillful exercise in CGI”. So he’s barely conscious these days anyway, unless it’s a Scorsese picture, then he calls in the caretaker to work the Chloe Moretz Special Edition Fleshlight.

  65. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Koutch is always bragging about that Warren Theater in Kansas, and their claim that they’re the biggest IMAX screen in the world.

    I never bothered to look into it…..but it’s fucking DIGITAL IMAX? Bahahahaha. Who gives a flying fuck? It probably looks like ass blown up that big.

    Here’s the real shit….

    ___________________________________

    As expected, “The Dark Knight Rises” is nothing short of a triumph — read our spoiler-free review here — and delivers the epic finale we’ve been long waiting for. So before you go this Friday, check out the list below and we’d recommend booking an IMAX ticket if there is a big screen anywhere near you. Theaters below and new photos via Entertainment Weekly on page two.

    Full Size IMAX Theaters With 70mm Projection – USA, Canada & U.K.

    USA

    Alabama
    McWane Science Center Imax, Birmingham
    U.S. Space & Rocket Center Imax, Huntsville

    Arizona
    Harkins Arizona Mills Imax, Tempe (Phoenix)

    California
    AMC Universal Citywalk Imax, Universal City
    Rave Imax, Westchester (Los Angeles)
    Edwards Irvine Spectrum Imax, Irvine
    Edwards Ontario Palace Imax, Ontario
    Desert Imax, Cathedral City (Palm Springs)
    AMC Metreon Imax, San Francisco
    Regal Hacienda Crossings Imax, Dublin (San Francisco)
    Tech Museum Hackworth Imax, San Jose
    Esquire Imax, Sacramento
    Edwards Fresno Imax, Fresno

    Colorado
    UA Colorado Center Imax, Denver
    Cinemark Carefree Circle Imax, Colorado Springs

    Connecticut
    Rave Buckland Hills Imax, Manchester (New Haven)

    Florida
    Autonation Imax, Ft Lauderdale
    Regal Pointe Orlando Imax, Orlando
    Museum of Science & Industry Imax, Tampa

    Georgia
    Regal Mall of Georgia Imax, Buford (Atlanta)

    Idaho
    Edwards Boise Imax, Boise

    Illinois
    Navy Pier Imax, Chicago
    Cinemark @ Seven Bridges Imax, Woodridge (Chicago)
    Regal Lincolnshire Stadium Imax, Lincolnshire (Chicago)

    Indiana
    Indiana State Museum Imax, Indianapolis

    Iowa
    Blank Imax, Des Moines

    Massachusetts
    Comcast Imax, Reading (Boston)
    Comcast Imax, Natick (Boston)

    Michigan
    Henry Ford Imax, Dearborn
    Celebration! Cinema Grand Rapids North IMAX, Grand Rapids

    Minnesota
    Great Clips Imax, Apple Valley (Minneapolis)

    Missouri
    St Louis Science Center Imax, St Louis
    Discovery Imax, Branson
    Wehrenberg Ronnies Imax, St Louis

    Nebraska
    AMC Star Cinema Imax, Council Bluffs (Omaha)

    Nevada
    Brenden Palms Imax, Las Vegas

    New Jersey
    Liberty Science Center Imax, Jersey City
    Tropicana Imax, Atlantic City

    New York
    AMC Loews Lincoln Square Imax, New York
    Palisades Imax, West Nyack
    Regal New Roc Imax, New Rochelle
    Cinemark Tinseltown USA Imax, Rochester

    North Carolina
    Discovery Place Imax, Charlotte

    Ohio
    IMAX Theater at Patriot Park, Columbus

    Oklahoma
    Cinemark Imax, Tulsa

    Pennsylvania
    Tuttleman Imax, Philadelphia
    UA King of Prussia Imax, King of Prussia
    Carnegie Science Center Rangos Omnimax, Pittsburgh
    Cinemark Pittsburgh Mills Imax, Tarentum (Pittsburgh)
    Whitaker Center Imax, Harrisburg

    Rhode Island
    Providence Place Imax, Providence

    Tennessee
    Regal Opry Mills Imax, Nashville

    Texas
    Cinemark Imax, Dallas
    Omni Imax, Ft Worth
    Edwards Houston Marq*e Imax, Houston
    Santikos Silverado Imax, Tomball (Houston)
    Bob Bullock Imax, Austin
    Rivercenter Imax, San Antonio
    Santikos Palladium Imax, San Antonio

    Virginia
    Udvar Hazy Imax, Chantilly
    Virginia Marine Science Museum Imax, Virginia Beach

    Washington
    Boeing Science Center Imax, Seattle

    Washington DC
    Samuel C. Johnson Imax, Washington DC
    Lockheed Martin Imax, Washington DC

    Wisconsin
    AMC Star Imax, Fitchburg (Madison)

  66. And Stuntcock, get to fucking Portage Place.

    CANADA

    Scotiabank Chinook Imax, Calgary
    Scotiabank Imax, Edmonton
    Colossus Langley Imax, Langley (Vancouver)
    SilverCity Riverport Imax, Richmond (Vancouver)
    Portage Place Imax, Winnipeg
    Empire Theatres at Bayers Lake Imax, Halifax
    Scotiabank Imax, Toronto
    Coliseum Mississauga Imax, Mississauga (Toronto)
    Colossus Vaughan Imax, Woodbridge-Vaughan (Toronto)
    SilverCity Gloucester Imax, Gloucester (Ottawa)
    Canadian Museum Imax, Hull (Ottawa)
    Cinema Banque Scotia Imax, Montreal
    Imax Theatre, Quebec City
    Kramer Imax Regina

  69. So I took Koutch;’s advice and caught The Devil’s Double. Fucking righteous. Now that’s how you do a respectable biopic. I know a lot of Yatif’s tale is BS but Dominic Cooper fucking DESTROYS in that flick. Dude’s got chops. Just go see Abe Lincoln and you’ll see his abilities. And if you refuse to see Abe Lincoln, you’re a commie pinko scum who hates America. But hey, that’s just one point of view.

  70. Having watched The Rock and Bad Boys recently The Rock held up way better than BB1. I was never annoyed during The Rock, BB1 annoyed me a lot more and it wasn’t as ball pulsating action like I remembered.

    Hehehe you think Nolan looked at that robbery opening in BB and thought….I can top that for TDK?

  78. Yeah fuck those faggots at RT, mainly for giving Devin a place to begin with. But when all a site does to survive is strive for hits…..why would they turn it off? What’s the fucking point of a critic if they can’t be punching bags? I’m tired of all these things catering to the needs of scum like a critic.

  82. Hehehe…that shit’s funny as fuck.

    ALL MAN.

    “I wrote this little thing for the Filson catalog about this program called “Freedom to Roam,” which is about keeping wildlife corridors open so that migrating elk herds can move from one region to another — because it’s central to their existence, actually.”

  83. Hehehehehe.

    CUNT.

    _________________________________________________

    Michael: So here’s the best Nicholson sports story. So you know we’re in London — we were doing Batman — it wasn’t like it is now. There just wasn’t a lot to watch. But they did televise darts.

    Daniel: Oh, yeah, I actually know that.

    Michael: So one morning Nicholson comes in, sits in the makeup chair. In his contract, he says, “I don’t show up for makeup until at least 9.” And you know, you’re normally showing up at 6, 6:30, 7, just to get the day started. But he, very wisely, very professionally, said, “I’m just going to tell you. I’ll work later, but I’m not a morning guy.”

    [Both laugh.]

    Daniel: OK … shocker.

    Michael: [laughing] He’d show up in the morning, and you would have no idea what he’d look like that day — I actually would get excited and wait for him — I so looked forward to what he’d look like when he came in. But then he’d come in, sit in his makeup chair, and then just go to sleep. Because for the Joker, it’s a lot of work. And I swear to God, he’s such a sports fan, one morning he comes in and I say “Good morning, Jack” — and he calls me Keats — he goes, [doing a killer Nicholson] “Good morning, Keats,” and sits down like this [lifting both eyebrows] and says, “Pretty damn good darts tournament last night.” And then falls dead asleep.

    [Both laugh.]

    Daniel: You still see him ever?

    Michael: I still see him now and then. I’m talking to him about a project right now, but I don’t really hang out with him. We don’t really lead similar lifestyles …

    Daniel: Do you think the project will come together?

    Michael: Actually, I don’t.

  84. But seriously Devin said this about Avengers:

    “That something, I believe, boils down to sincerity. The Avengers is a movie that wears its heart on its sleeve, that doesn’t have much cynicism and contains zero ironic distancing. It’s a movie that isn’t afraid to be big, to be silly and to embrace very traditional images of heroism.”

    Ummmm a movie with Galaga references is ALLLL about being cynical and distancing it’s self from the audience showing how EVEN THOUGH Tony Stark is all rich and powerful and a genius HE CAN ALSO BE WITTY and knows referential humor. Referential humor is the epitome of cynicism. Like why does Avengers take place in a world where Galaga even fucking exists? Maybe he just saw Captain America and thought that was Avengers?

    and since Devin said that, he’s understand less about life and movies than even me.

  85. PREACH.

    Daniel: Yeah, well, does that affect you, what people say? Because then you went on to become the quintessential Batman, and everyone loved it. Or do you go, “Fuck them?”

    Michael: It affects me for about 25 minutes then I go “Fuck them” for about the rest of my life.

  91. I wonder if Nicholson’s Joker cock is ghostly white, but the head is green and the balls are red.

    That’d be rad if he covered that shit with flesh-colored make-up before he has one of his gals blow him, so then he can use the great Drake line: “I swear my bitches do it ’til they suck the brown off. “

  94. Haha, Ginger Cunt hated it. Not reading his review( or any review for that matter) but the headline says he was disappointed. He hated Inception as well as I remember.

  96. Bahahah so Harry complains about Batman & Robin and Forever…..then concludes that he really wanted more of the Shumacher stuff than the Nolanverse. Heheheheh can’t say I disagree, but THAT’S NOT THE FUCKING POINT.

  97. I still can’t fathom how one thinks Avengers is this old timely ode to heroic acts and justice for the sake of justice and not some too cool for school shit? The movie ends with them meeting up in like Cleveland Central park with everyone looking like they showed up to shoot a JC Pennies ad then high fiving and driving off? How fucking gay and attempting to be cool is that? It should’ve ended with Captain America giving a speech and then everyone getting a fucking medal.

  102. In my mind, Avengers ends with the gang having lunch at the restaurant (post-credits). That bullshit in the park was just a way of cleaning up, explaining what is to become of Loki. To me, THAT was epilogue more than anything else. I’m looking forward to it on DVD. Even if I’d disliked the movie I’d get it because of the extras from the Cleveland shooting.

    But no, in no way do I put Avengers on par with TDKR. Entertainment can be art, like TDKR. But Avengers to me is just good entertainment. Not “art.” It did not move me emotionally. I did not have to think about it during or after watching it. Nolan’s trilogy is smart.

  106. FUCK YEAH Barbara was suppose to interview Zimmerman. She went all the way to Orlando to interview him and he Demanded something Barbara and ABC couldn’t do, she couldn’t say what. But it was agreed that they show their interview after Sean hannity’s interview.

  110. Yeah, seriously….after tomorrow. Fuck movies for the rest of the year.

    Looking at the rest of the summer, the only thing I’ll pay to see is Total Recall.

    After that it’s what….maybe Silent Hill for Halloween, then Skyfall in November?

    Jesus. Sad.

  116. Hey you motherfuckers. Looks like I’ll be seeing it on Saturday. So I’ll be late to the party. This fucking movie better be like Transformers 3 where I hated the first two movies in the trilogy but absolutely loved the shit out of the third.

  118. So, I took Koutch’s advice and watched a couple episodes of that Jesse Stone series with Tom “GOD BLESS THE NRA” Selleck.

    Good shit. Saw the Stone Cold one and the prequel they did. Him putting his bloodhound down was actually pretty rough…It’s been a year since I put mine down so that hit hard.

    Selleck’s good….I dig the moodiness and rip off score from The Road to Perdition. They’re predictable but comfortable like a well worn in set of slippers. I dig the whole early 90’s vibe of them. And Selleck who uses pay phones and everyone smokes – and they all have landlines like no one in the world has ever seen a fucking cellphone. The whole thing is kind of entrancing in an old school way.

    I’m gonna watch the rest.

  120. I did enjoy the first two, but yes…I need the whole set.

    I like those montages where we’re supposed to believe he’s been slamming the booze all night and we dissolve hours later and he looks exactly the fucking same, maybe just wincing his eyes a tiny bit.

  121. Yeah the Jesse Stone miniseries is very strong. Some of the best damn TV. I like its slow burn quality about it. Between that and Blue Bloods Selleck is on fire. Best he’s been since the Three Men and Quigly double team. Also he writes the Jesse Stone stories.

    Man hopefully Malick decides to direct one of them, you know he needs the money.

  126. OH and Danny I never hid the fact that the world’s mightyest IMAX was digital, I was just seeing if you were smart enough to catch it so you could give your Dannyism’s on it, but in typical Danny fashion your a day late and a dick short.

  127. Can’t wait to see the IMAX closeup of Hathaway’s epic monkey knuckle. That motherfucker will be snatching pole out of back row seats feeding its hungry maw.

  133. Batmen

    Best: Michael Keaton as Batman
    Keaton was arguably the biggest casting risk in any superhero movie: he was small and had a weak chin, and was saddled with a costume that didn’t have all the bugs worked out (he couldn’t turn his head). But Keaton understood and radiated the half-mad impulses that would make a man don a bat costume. It was all in the eyes, both in and out of costume.

    Worst: Christian Bale as Batman
    One can argue Bale is a better actor than Keaton, but he’s not a better Batman. His obsessions are more surface and self-conscious. He’s a brooder, but not tormented. He appears to be in control all the time, rather than succumbing to brutal urges. His scenes as Bruce Wayne are particularly chilly. It comes down to the Bale’s Bat-voice, a kind of hoarse whisper-growl that sounds more and more ridiculous as the movies go on.

  138. Alright, so who among us has seen it? And which of you was responsible for the devastation in Colorado?

    All kidding aside, it’s a terrible tragedy. But it has less to do with Batman than it does another pair of parents (or parent) who didn’t raise their kid right.

  147. As for those parents of the three month old who got dead, god I hope they didn’t suffer a single injury. Then they can do promotional videos about the importance of not bringing your fucking baby to the movies.

  149. That’s so fucking racist.

    All I know is here in California, the dirtiest pieces of shit you want nowhere near you in the theater are always the white trash families. They’re the ones that have strange outbursts and small like Brian Dennehy’s ass.

    I’d take a dozen scream Mexican kids over a few drooling mongoloids from Antelope Valley any day.

  151. Admittedly so. Just going of personal experience. But yeah, I’m sure it’s a cross-cultural thing. Just comes down to not having coming sense, or simply being selfish and not caring that your baby might wake up and scream and create a scene for everyone else who dropped cash.

  153. My fuckin thoughts, taken from my tumblr rant immediately after seeing it.

    “1. Yes, it was stunning. If Batman Begins was the genesis, The Dark Knight the chaos, this was the doom.

    2. Even at 2 and 3/4 hours it still felt a bit empty at times. I was surprised how much character development there was in The Dark Knight, but in this one character moments felt rushed. It wasn’t bad but there wasn’t as much to chew on.

    3. BANE. What a badass. He was the best thing about it by far. Hardy fucking ruled in the role.

    4. This film did an incredible job tying together the past two films. It was great seeing characters from the past films pop up. Didn’t feel jokey or self-referential either. It felt like reading a Batman comic. They all existed in the universe after all, so here they are popping up again. I dug it.

    5. Hathaway’s Catwoman was underdeveloped. This I attribute to a 2 3/4 hour running time which could have been a great 4 hour epic.

    6. [THIS ONE I TOOK BACK AFTER THINKING ABOUT IT] There wasn’t enough Batman. This was like the Returns of the Nolan trilogy where more time was spent developing the universe than Batman himself. I was fine w/ it in Returns, but here I would have liked a teensy bit more. Just my opinion.

    7. I didn’t like Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character. His role should’ve been pared down. I hated where they took his character in the end and am surprised why Nolan took it in that direction. I mean, wtf?

    8. This was the first time in a Nolan Batman where I felt that certain moments were flat out unbelievable, but I’ll leave that to you to decide. I dunno.

    9. Hans Zimmer’s score was the best of the Nolan series. Shit pumped me up.

    10. The underground elements were fascinating. Wish they would’ve done a bit more w/ it, but again, 2 3/4 running time.

    11. My main thought since before it was even announced is that we don’t deserve this movie. BB and TDK would have been just fine by themselves. This was a GIFT, and you shouldn’t argue about gifts.

    12. Imagine how badass this could have been if Ledger hadn’t fuckin died? Damn. Now that would have been by far the best of the series w/o question.

    13. This is the best film I’ve seen in a long time. Definitely since The Skin I Live In.

    I’ll be back later to praise the shit out of this film and after I read all you guys had to see. Later.

  155. FUCK I can’t wait to see this tomorrow!

    I’m taking my .45, my dads bullet proof vest and an industrial sized can of RAID Baby Formula to keep fuckers in check. No amount of Bullets and babies will disturb my viewing experience.

  158. I don’t see why they’re damned if they don’t. It has nothing to do with the fucking movie.

    It was just an event AT a movie theater….who cares?

    They shut down my fucking screening tonight, and I’ll be shooting people with a super soaker filled with piss.

  159. I’m seeing it sunday afternoon, so i’ll come back and comment then. Funny how Ginger is trashing the flick, maybe Harry had his brain replaced with a big greasy cheeseburger.

  161. If someone gets murdered at a Chuckie Cheese..are we gonna shut them all down?

    It is a random event by an obviously deranged person…world wide crazy shit like this happens every day and the world does not stop.

  166. ProMonkey, I like and agree with your comments. Conspi, stay safe bro.

    I will be following Stunt in the second-viewing club later this evening. TDKR is a little too violent for Mini-Abom, but it’s his birthday and it’s what he wants.

    WHAT DONSHOO FUCKIN’ UNDERSTAND

  168. Things I didn’t like:

    Bruce Wayne’s cane/cripple shit at the beginning. Fucking useless.

    Matthew Modine. Fucking Useless.

    That’s it.

    Things I liked:

    Zimmer’s soundtrack was so relentlessly loud the actors had to yell.

    The Braveheart style cops/badguys running at each other. Especially the score over that scene. Jesus fuck.

    Actually everything from Bane’s takeover of Gotham to the end was pretty much flawless.

    BANE’S FUCKING VOICE WAS AWESOME!

    The look between Alfred and Bruce at the end.

    JGL’s char The glue of the film.

    Both Bane/Batman fights but especially the second one where they just punch each other in the fucking chops endlessly.

    Nice twist at the end.

    The Bane prologue was the tits.

    Marion Clitguard’s wet sweater tits when her and Bruce are all wet. Ripe.

    The bad guys were not just lame at fighting.

    Bane’s Hardy was amazing. Not as good as the Joker but fuck it’s pretty hard to emote with Rosanne Barr’s dental dam over your mouth.

    The IMAX shots of the city blowing up/ burning.

    Anne’s ass. Jesus I’d brush my teeth with her yeast infection.

    My problem with it last might was the first half goes on way too fucking long and was some depressing shit on top of that but upon second viewing I take it back. The whole thing had a nice balance and felt right.

    Seeing all 3 last night I was thinking TDK was the best and I still do but TDKR is a close second. But they’re nowhere near the same kind of movie so comparisons don’t really make sense.

  176. Yeah Stunt I know what you are saying about that first hour, I was like ehhhhhh then that second hour kicks in and floors it and it all makes sense. The movie like Danny said feels like 4 days long but also 30 minutes long at the same time. It’s just so fucking dense and intense, I may read the movie novelization. God would it be fucking 500 pages long?

  177. Also I loved that knock on Avengers.

    My first initial thought after leaving the movie was ‘wow, impressive’. It was sort of what I expected but SO much more all in the same.

    I loved that ending to, it’s sort of like a dare for anyone else to come make another Batman movie. He’s like….yeah here you go, lets see what you can do it’s all there.

  178. ALSO FAWWWKKKK!!!! Whoever says I’m gonna wait for DVD on this is an idiot. I wouldn’t even know how to play this movie at my house? You need some state of the art sound design in your house are some shit are your gonna blow out your asshole.

  179. Hehehehe god was a fucking movie, I left never wanting to see another movie for the rest of my life….then I fell asleep watching Chaplin, whatever happened to Robert Downy Jr? Him and Mel should team up on something and get back in the swing of things.

  181. Yeah Jesus….honestly I couldn’t fucking sleep last night. My mind was spinning. Just absolute sensory/emotion overload.

    The first and I believe only other time I felt this coming out of a movie was Inception….

    It’s like you can’t even say good or bad….who gives a shit? That’s not what it’s about. It’s just being absolutely fucking immersed in cinema and kicked in the balls and throat repeatedly. It’s an exhausting experience but sort of intoxicating. These are the movies that provide absolute escapism and remind you why you go to the movies in the first place.

    It’s so much to process.

    Now I understand why Stuntcock and so many others I know came out of it after the midnight showing just like uhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….not really knowing what the fuck to think or say, not even really understanding whether or not it was good. Just that it was a fucking experience.

    There is no other guy in films doing what Nolan is doing. Nobody comes close to that level. And it seems impossible to think even he will ever achieve anything like this again.

    Coming out of it, I understood why huge fans of The Dark Knight would have issues with it….it basically makes that movie fucking forgettable filler. The only two things we need from that storyline, Rachel’s death, and the fact that the cops are after Batman for Dent’s death. Other than that, fuck it. It’s like a bottle episode. Rises is the second part in the Batman Begins saga. It’s more akin to that tone and that sorta over-the-top fantastical world. It makes me see Begins in a totally different light now. I never really dug it THAT much before….it’s fun, it’s a Batman movie, and it’s Bale….so yeah, it’s entertaining, but it always felt like something was lacking. Like the setup for League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul was sorta overstated, and felt far too grand for where it ended up….almost like the story had a downward arc in scope. I think that’s why it always left me feeling a little unsure about its overall impact….but now I see the fucking master plan….Jesus Christ. Epic storytelling. Above all else, even beyond the filmmaking aspect, Nolan is simply a classic storyteller. There’s no one working at that level today. And FAWWWWWWWWWK.

    Leaving soon for the MOTHERFUCKING IMAX EXPERIENCE.

    Fuck everything else for the next 6 months.

  182. Also, for the record….I’m fucking glad Ledger died and didn’t fuck up this movie.

    I wouldn’t have been interested in a further Joker arc at all. He stirred up some shit, got Bruce in a bad place, served his purpose, now fuck off.

    Joker has zero emotional resonance because we know nothing about him and don’t really give a fuck cause he’s just fun to look at….he’s not part of the full Batman/League of Shadows legend as told in this tale….he’s basically a Scarecrow with more screen-time.

    FUCK HIM.

  188. TDKR… best ending of all time? Maybe.

    SPOILERS

    I was too sleepy when I saw this movie at midnight… it was almost too much for my puny brain to handle. Nolan injected profound messages about fear strengthening the will to survive, and how complacency being the enemy of true accomplishment. I see why some people are offended by it… they don’t like smarts in their comic book movies.

    Second viewing worked splendidly for me. I was wide awake and able to take it all in properly. It’s a masterful film.

    Bale just owns the shit out of this role. He is my definitive live action Batman, and he always will be. Fucker nailed both Batman AND Bruce Wayne… something no other actor has been able to do. At times it is a surprisingly subtle performance. There’s a lot going on with his eyes.

    Anne Hathaway is a goddess. Everything she does in this movie was pitch perfect. I’ve always been a big fan of Selina in the comics, and I’ve always lamented her live action iterations (Michelle was fantastic… but the character she played was horrendously written). Hathaway’s Selina Kyle is straight out of the comics. She nailed every facet of the character. Her voice and body language was sexy as hell. Every time she straddled that batpod, I had to shift in my seat. And I loved when she took the initiative, grabbed Bats and planted one on him.

    I’m not as blown away by Tom Hardy’s Bane as most. He might be my least favorite main villain in this series. Yeah, he was scary and he had a nasty plan, but he’s fairly one note. He did some cool acting with his eyes and voice, but it didn’t blow me away. I cheered when Selina blew him away like he was paper. Didn’t expect that.

    Also not too impressed with Talia. It was too little, too late. I did notice something cool on the second viewing, though… throughout the movie she is doing a total Liam Neeson accent. It’s not her normal accent. Nice little detail.

    But everything else was just wonderful. The pacing never lets you stop to look at your watch. This movie was 3 hours?! Felt like 2.

    That ending, though. Goddamn. Never expected that. Not in a million years. It’s what I’ve always wanted to see. Bruce and Selina, together, happy, moving on. Let’s face it, in Nolan’s more realistic Batverse, Wayne can’t do this forever. He’s getting too old for this shit. Someone else has to take over. The last shot continued the “A man can be destroyed, but a symbol is incorruptible” theme.

    Excellent.

  189. Joker was necessary to fuck shit up in the second film, and Heath’s performance was truly incredible, but I agree he was not needed for this one. He doesn’t give a shit about anything except causing trouble and getting Batman to kill him, which isn’t really what this movie needed.

    If Heath had lived, it would have been cool to have a Joker cameo, fucking shit up around the city. But, if he had lived, the movie probably would have centered around him, which would have just been more of the same. Lame.

  190. And someone said there wasn’t enough Catwoman… I think there was JUST enough. You don’t want her to take over the movie, because she easily could. Instead, she is wisely used to bring out some important elements in Bruce. I was actually surprised how much she figured into the beginning and end. She’s good on that bike…

  192. “The first and I believe only other time I felt this coming out of a movie was Inception….”

    Same here, same here. It’s an odd feeling. I walked into the second viewing 60% convinced I didn’t like it. But like Inception you get rewarded with each successive viewing.

  194. That Man of Steel trailer is the only one I’ve seen so far. It had just enough content to make my cock sweat in awe and delight.

    After this weekend I don’t really need to see another fucking movie until that comes out next year Hmmm actually Skyfall though yes.

  196. Sweet agony, I can’t read any comments yet. Seeing it Sunday afternoon. On another note, my brother in law narrowly missed seeing TDKR in the fucking theater that got shot up. He was out there on vacation and staying at the hotel right behind the theater. Luckily he felt like going to bed and catching the flick the next day. He called to say he was OK but what a zoo it was outside the hotel by the theater. He was kind of pissed because he couldn’t see TDKR on Friday.

  200. I’m seeing this again tomorrow w/ my dad. When I saw this at midnight there was a 3 year old whining and kicking my seat behind me that smelled like shit and dumbasses in front of me w/ too much axe deoderant. This time it’ll be during the day and I’ll be able to focus on the smaller moments/dialogue I may have missed. (not just Bane’s dialogue)

    @Koutch Yea I can see digging Keaton’s Bat more than Bale’s, but were you including Clooney? I thought he was sleepwalking through B&R and I don’t hate B&R.

    @Mike I agree w/ your comments but I gotta say I loved the first half. I think the first half of Rises went down smoother than any of the Nolan Batmans yet, mainly cause I think he already got the first two films out of his system.

    @Danny Man I would’ve loved to see Joker in this, but not as a villain w/ an arc per se. I thought him having smaller things to do like Scarecrow popped up in this would’ve been a stroke of genius. I think Ledger would’ve added color to this if used right, but that’s in the 4 hour epic in my mind.

    @Mattman I would’ve dug more of Catwoman w/ Temple and maybe more stuff w/ her in prison. May be extraneous to the plot but whatev. I just wish she had more to do in the story than lead Batman to Bane and come back later on the bike, but I could be wrong cause I only saw it once.

    @All The Rock still rocks my cock. Watched that again a couple weeks ago. I’ve never spoken out against Bay cause he’s always entertained me, save for The Island. I thought The Island shat itself halfway through it and gave up. Filed under waste of resources and I never like that in a movie.

    Although I did watch like the first half of Transformers 3. Jesus that was a fucking mess. But I’m not complaining, Transformers aren’t my thing.

    Be back after second viewing. I wrote my comments I posted right after my first view at midnight.

  201. Stuntcock… (spoilers)

    I was 98% certain the ending would be a downer. Fuck, most of Nolan’s movies end with the main character dying, lying to himself or others, or losing everyone around him. This was the first truly happy Nolan ending, imo. That shocked the hell out of me more than a tragic ending ever could.

  203. I’ll also have to reread all these comments I’m pretty fuckin buzzed right now, even though in my city we only have 3 point beer unless through a liquor store and I always forget to go there when they’re open. Side comment.

  205. Ok, this flick was something to digest. When you guys said you walked out and had to sit back and think about if it was good or bad, I agree with that. I walked out and my wife asked me if I liked it and I literally couldn’t talk. First off, Michael Caine stole every scene he was in I thought. Just the right quips to Bruce Wayne and the right emotion to try and save him from the path he’s on. Hathway was good, makes me want to rewatch Love and other drugs. She was more Batman year one than Jim Balents Catwoman or later comic runs. Noticed a few more year one nods with the cops too. No gratuitous ass shot like Whedon laid on Black Widow, but of course Nolan is above that. Hardy was good but didn’t jump off the screen at me, I’ll have to watch his eyes more the next time through, I kept looking at his mask. I dug the shit out of when he batman up against the pillar when they were fighting on the steps and unloaded body blows, Hardy knows how to throw a punch, made me move Warrior to the top of my queue. This did feel like a continuation of Begins. Redemption and defeating ones inner demon, I agree the joker wouldn’t have played into these themes and would have been a throw away character like scarecrow, cool to see just cause they are still there and doing stuff but would not played into the overall plot. Maybe just someone bent on bringing down Batman, just like Bane. So JGL is Robin ? I need to rewatch the epilogue again.

    • Yeah I was thinking all the Bale and Cain stuff…THIS IS IT…THIS IS AS FUCKING GOOD AS IT GETS. They just need to fuck off and make small intimate dramatic father son or boss and underling drama’s for the next five years, then have Bale give Cain’s eulogy.

  206. Christ what a film…

    People who are bitching about continuity errors are grasping at straws…from the writing, the acting, the practical effects, whatever you decide to focus on…this was just masterful film making. In fact I think it is my favorite of the three films.

    Loved the ending…real resolution without being a downer.

    I won’t mention Bale..perfection was expected, and as expected it was delivered.

    Sir Michael Cain is a World treasure isn’t he. If his “Alfred” doesn’t punch you in the gut, and convey to you real heartfelt emotion, real pain and an underlying desperation Alfred feels to save Bruce from himself then you’ve obviously never experienced anyone really give a fuck about you and therefore can’t recognize it. That fucker almost had me choking up.

    Loved Bane…and the character should never be compared to Ledgers Joker…this fucker stands alone. Hardy is just amazing in this role

    And let me say right now…if you don’t respect Hathaways performance here then fuck you. Nolans take on this character, and Anne’s acting is god damned perfect…they even manage to make the outfit believable and workable.

    Really…I could watch this film as many times as they’d let me watch it..I will go for a second viewing as soon as I get the chance. It really does take more than one showing to digest it all.

    Special Mention, and early nomination for best supporting goes to Anne Hathaways Glorious gluteous…there is a moment, towards the end of the film, where she is on the Bike…and for just a few frames she arches her back and that perfect pooter thrusts itself towards the audience….

    Fuck I need a wet wipe.

  207. Also..the fucking Score rips this shit open. On its own..it is percussive and brutal…when added to the film, it is a primal motivating force. It isn’t just filler, or moody background noise to enhance the scene…it really becomes as much a character of the film as are any of the actors. Impressive work.

  209. I need to see this in IMAX! I fucking knew better than to go to a local theater, but fuck it all if it still wasn’t worth it. Absolutely amazing!

    Hardy as Bane…if the Mr. Universe version of Arnie were raped by a prize winning bull or vice versa then Bane would’ve been the bastard child. I was worried about the voice, but that shit was impressive. The menace was obvious in the body & eyes but the intelligence & conviction really came through in the voice acting.

    Anne had me excited before the movie, had me worried in her first few scenes, then had me rebuttering my popcorn crumbs by the end (apologies to the grandma 6 rows down that caught some overspray). Solid character work, but after seeing her fabulous tits on screen in the past Nolan should’ve squeezed in a “we may die tomorrow” scene with at least a side boob shot.

    Alfred almost had me in tears. Best Supporting Actor locked in!

    Lord Bale. I praise thee. Still not a big fan of the grumbling haggered voice, but that was easily drowned out by the sound of his swinging cock. The cane & that whole angle was annoying & unnecessary.

    The ending was spot fucking hard on! Alfred’s scene stroked the shaft, Gordon Levitt’s squeezed the balls. My own alteration to Alfred’s closing scene would’ve been to only show a faceless woman wearing a pearl necklace (like grandma 6 rows down) & a man who is now sporting a cane.

    I have to stop typing, I’m getting worked up again. Multiple viewings will be had.

  210. Yeah three viewings in and the more I sit here and think about it the more I’m in total fucking awe of this movie.

    I’m also changing my tune to call this the best of the three. But man comparing TDK to TDKR is like comparing Heat to Ben Hur. It doesn’t make sense.

  211. Yeah jesus I was driving today and I had my chin on my palm in the thinking position and my passenger was like….”ehhh what are you doing, you look like you are in deep thought?”

    Me – “ehhhh I was thinking about Dark Knight Rises.”

    • Definitely need to expand that story more…; Anne is most certainly the Lipstick Butch there…her strap on must be breathtaking.

      And Fuck me Jesus I wish we had Real IMAX in Fresno…I’d happily pay double to watch her in those Stilettos. When she used one to pin the guys hand to the wall I think I voided the warranty on my 501s.

    • I didn’t get a lesbian vibe from Juno…

      They’re just thieves that band together…obviously Juno’s the less experienced and Selina’s showing her the way.

      I liked those little moments of hers though, coming in to bring her the phone, trying to steal that dude’s wallet in the hallway, and Bale arguing with her outside to let him in. It somehow humanized Selina more to have her crashing with some other small-timer as opposed to being another solitary creature.

      I think she has more purpose than someone like saaaaaay….Blade in TDK.

    • I caught a little of Begins on TV tonight….it’s fucking weird how Ra’s already plays completely different than before. And I never even gave more thought to the things he mentions about his lost love…

      “….I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your loved one is just… poison in your veins. And one day, you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed so you’d be spared your pain.”

    • I don’t think that’s that big of deal….it happens all the time in big films. It looked to be getting a little darker when we cut to the exterior of the stock exchange…and the tunnel thing helped it a lot. It felt like less of sudden change than that bit in the end of BATTLE LA when they go into the sewer at night, then climb out the other side in bright ass day.

      Also it’s less glaring than ground on the other side of the electrified fence in the T-Rex paddock being level with the wall, then suddenly it’s a fucking 100 ft drop on the other side when the Explorer goes over it.

      I don’t care about that shit.

      Now if suddenly halfway through production, Bale had that manly ass testicle growing out of his eye removed….THEN I’d be screaming BITCH-MADE.

  215. That’s interesting….it’s not a breathing apparatus, it’s just a constant dose of pain killer..

    “Costume designer Lindy Hemming explained that Bane uses a mask to inhale an analgesic gas, which, in director Christopher Nolan’s words, “keeps his pain just below the threshold so he can function.”

  216. STUNTCOCK:

    The thing with people feeling TDK is the best/tightest film, comes down to the fact that it’s pretty much a self-contained/open-shut thing. It’s an absolute standalone film.

    Begins and Rises are two-parts of a giant fucking story….it would be difficult for someone to fully enjoy Rises without having seen Begins, but TDK could easily be enjoyed on its own. All that really needs to be known is the broad Batman mythology.

    I prefer the fucking 5 hour League of Shadows epic, but at this moment if I had to choose my favorite, I’d say Rises is the best of three, and Nolan’s second best film overall after Inception.

  220. Yo Koutch…what up with your boy?

    “Tom Dark ‏@TomDark9

    Okay, this Aurora theater shooting was a set-up. YES your gov’t will kill a lot of people so you’ll approve gun confiscation. ”

    OBAMA WANTS TO TAKE AWAY YOUR GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  221. Yeah Bale should stop making movies for like five years and just do human activist stories and docs. Just him standing in some poverty stricken village just fucking pissed and yelling at the camera for you not doing enough.

  222. Okay…finally read that fucking retard Ebert’s review.

    Obviously he was on the fucking analgesic gas again, whilst watching…

    Some things that stood out:

    “No attempt is made to account for Bane’s funding and resources”

    UHHHHHHHHHHH…..he didn’t see the part where we learn Miranda Tate, the billionaire who takes control of Wayne Enterprises, is in cahoots with Bane?

    “Miranda is a do-gooder environmentalist”

    Huh? Where the fuck did you get that?

    ABOUT THAT PRISON…

    “The actual location is in Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India, and we get a glimpse of some zigzagging stairs that are unforgettably shown in “Baraka.” Turns out Bane was held there as a child.”

    Huh? Wait….you didn’t catch the part when we see he’s NOT the kid?

    So seriously was he asleep for most of the last hour?

  223. HEHEHEHE….the visual of Bale in a charity TV spot is pretty fucking funny. It’s a slow pan across the depravity of an African village…suddenly Bale comes into frame, inches from the fucking lens, staring right through our souls he screams: ANNNND WHAAAAT ARE YOU FAWKING DOING ABOUT IT???? GIMMEE A FAWK-IN ANSWWWWWWWWWER!!!!!!!!!!!!

  224. I sense a News Story , something like ‘Bale Beats Ebola’. Handsome Welsh actor Christian Bale, known for his recent oscar worthy performance in The Dark Knight Rises, while in Africa to increase awareness of poverty in the region caught the Ebola virus. Bale, a superior specimen of the human species, literally caught the virus with his bare hands and then beat the virus into submission, delivering crushing blows as last seen on screen in his mano a mano battle with Bane. Christian, the actors professional, then cracked a rock with his staff and water sprang forth, saving the lives of many in this local village. Great stuff.

  225. Hhhhmm…

    “I was super, super misled about what he was like. He was very sweet. I tried to joke with him to see how it would go. He had just won an Academy Award. I was like, “Let’s test to see what his sense of humor is like.” He laughed so hard. He also immediately said, “Oh, yes, you’re usually in the shorts.”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/23/dark-knight-rises-thomas-lennon_n_1695113.html?utm_hp_ref=entertainment

  226. Yeah I saw Ebert’s review. I can see calling Miranda a do-gooder environmentalist, because that’s who “Miranda” is. Only, she’s not really that person. Just pretending to be.

    But yeah, the shit about funding is way off. Half the movie is about wresting away control of Wayne Enterprises. And the League of Shadows was already well-resourced to begin with, I imagine.

  228. I guess you could argue that she is an environmentalist because she’s supporting a project for sustainable energy which would ideally cut down on human pollution…but I took that more as a philanthropy thing. The technology is talked up to help human beings, not the planet…I got zero environmental themes from any of it.

    It’s not important….Ebert is just a fucking idiot.

  230. Like does Ebert think the League of Shadows is some Environmental Terrorism organization? Like in his mind they want to destroy cities and murder humans to bring balance back to the planet?

    Seriously…how fucking tripped out on pain-killers is the ole’ crypt-keeper these days?

  231. Yeah when I saw Dangle as the fucking doctor I couldn’t stop laughing, I bet everyone was worried I was gonna drop some teargas at any minute. I hope Bale requested Dangle personally, and asked him when they were gonna do a new movie.

    I love that opening of the first movie:

    “I just had the weirdest dream.”
    “You know you’re driving right?”

  232. None of the Batmans ever did the raccoon eyes thing.

    The only time it was ever weird was when Keaton tore the mask off in front of Catwoman. We cut back to him too soon, before it’s lifted off his eyes and see suddenly…he has no make-up on and it looks like some Captain American faggotry.

    But speaking of that scene, I fucking loved everything about. Cool as fuck to see Bale walking around with the suit and no mask for the first time….and I like the investigation shit at the computer. When he says Ra’s al Ghul was the League of Shadows…and I BEAT HIM.

    EPIC shit.

  233. The music was pretty awesome.

    Speaking of which, I noticed the second time I saw it that part of the reason the first Bats vs Bane fight is so tits is because THERE IS NO MUSIC put to it. Nolan just let them fight, and all we hear are fisticuffs until Bane delivers that final blow.

    NO MUSIC. And it worked. I didn’t notice it the first time. I had such a woody over what I was seeing that I didn’t process the lack of score.

  238. Honestly the only two things about that movie I didn’t like…that fucking goofball douchebag Bill Devane as the president (I don’t like him or the fact that we see the president), and all that nauseating Steelers shit…something about Rapelisberger in a Batman movie smells foul. And why the fuck would they put their real names on their jerseys? Maybe Nolan just doesn’t understand the concept of people being paid to play sports…when they showed up he was sure they were all actors.

  240. Also…while we’re bitching, Nolan should’ve cut that stupid fucking Selina twist/flip of the ese’s hands in prison. In concept it’s cool, if we see a fucking prosthetic pair of hands actually twist around completely with a giant fucking CRUNCH sound. But it was too weird and pussified PG-13….with that bizarre jump cut to his hands turning with her already out of frame and no sound. It reminded me of the weird jump cutty death of the Spawn in TDK. But at least that had the big music cue over it…

    If Nolan couldn’t show the hand twist as he wanted, cut that shit the fuck out…it probably would’ve worked better just to see her face looking out the window as the van pulls up to the prison anyway.

  241. Yeah I didn’t catch they used their real names, I thought that football fuck looked familar, then I saw later it was the rape king. Should’ve at least been Payton, Americas true sports hero. But yeah Nolan probably hates sports. He probably begged to blow up the old Dallas Cowboys stadium for real.

  242. Ewwww….disgusting.

    There’s always a story to be found.

    ”

    Thomas Tull’s Legendary Pictures didn’t just co-finance The Dark Knight Rises with Warner Bros, he’s in the movie, too. The Legendary Pictures CEO shows up onscreen about halfway through Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy finale. Tull plays the owner of the fictional Gotham Rogues football team and is seen wearing a Rogues’ jersey and welcoming Gotham City Mayor Anthony Garcia (Nestor Carbonell) to the owners’ box to watch the team play. The uncredited appearance has no dialogue and is the first time Tull has appeared in one of the films he’s produced. Tull owns a minority stake of the NFL’s Pittsburgh Steelers whose stadium is featured in the movie as the place where the imaginary Gotham Rogues play.

  243. The fact we are reduced to such minor quibbles and nit picking reaffirms to me the true greatness of this film. The cops clean uniforms, the Night/Dark thing etc..don’t bother me at all in the context of the larger work.

    And it has the distinction of being the film that expose Knowles and Faraci complete and total frauds. How anyone could walk out of this film calling it a Mess or a Disaster is beyond me.

  245. yeah, i read Knowles review this morning, it’s nothing more than pissant fanboy tirade. Directors don’t respect the character crap, I’m surprised he didn’t pull his ‘technical aspects of the movie suck’ arguement, you know from his extentsive film making technical background. I’m surprised his big sausage fingers still fit on a keyboard.

  246. I was thinking about it last night, where Bruce and Selina end up…what their life is like as globetrotters…..and whether or not trouble eventually finds them. I’d fucking love to see a film on that…the shit they get into, traveling through the Mediterranean, fucking on balconies and helping out locals to overthrow a local kingpin or find a missing kid, or whatever the fuck. It made me think of Bond and Vesper at the end of Casino Royale on the boat, and the Man On Fire book, where Creasey spends all that time training and fucking local women in Malta. It’d make for some sexy ass shit, and good Nolan wardrobe. Like a better version of The Thomas Crown Affair.

  247. I want to go back if for no other reason than to see the brutal Bat/Bane fight scenes…as others have mention..it was nice to see a simple and primal throw down without much in the way of CGI or cartoony Bullshit. Just two fuckers trying to kill each other…

  249. Yeah I also loved how practical the fucking Batplane looked, there was never a moment like in TDK that cheesy CGI wall flip with the Bat Bike. I never once thought anything wasn’t practical at all…except for Banes initial voice in the airplane, but I got past that quickly and just figured his voice thing had some super charged speaker are some shit.

  251. So, can I trust we’ll have a trilogy box set on the market by Christmas? I wonder what the extras and shit would be. Hopefully just Bale yelling at people, or practicing his Bat-yells: “Swear to ME!” “Where’s the trigger?” “Where is he!?” “Enough, Alfred!”

    • Fuck..I gotta try that this weekend.

      Whats everyone’s take on Alfred and Bale at the end? Alfred seems pretty calm to be seeing Bale sitting there with this fist up Hathaway’s ass.

      It’s as if Alfred is saying…”Yeah..you’re alive, I’m keeping the fucking bankroll”, while Bale is saying. “Yeah I pulled a fast one, but have you seen the ass on this flexible cunt? Keep the coin for your troubles”

  255. Hehehe…that should be an alternate version on the blu-set…

    Batman smashes Joker’s face into the glass.

    JOKER: You have NOTHING to threaten me with…NOTHING to do with all your strength.

    Push in on Batman…he winces.

    CRACK!!!

    Joker’s face is split in two as it flies into the corner of the steel interrogation table.

    Batman walks out of the room with Gordon in tow.

    BATMAN: What’re you followin’ me for? Clean that shit up.

  261. Yeah Koutch I got nothing done today either.

    The Alfred/Bruce look at the end just instantly fills the heart with happiness. It should have been the last shot of the film in my opinion. Just Bale smiling with a little nod. Cut to black.

  262. Actually I was thinking Nolan was gonna INCEPTION the fuck outta the end. When Cain looks up right past the camera, it hold on him for a few frames longer than you’d expect and I’m thinking, FAWWWWWWWK we’re not gonna see who he’s looking at. It’s gonna cut to black.

    It would’ve been cool either way. But luckily Nolan gave us what we wanted to see. No more innocents needed to die for this film.

    And didn’t Bale look brighter and healthier than he has in fucking years at that moment? It was almost like The Fighter never happened.

  265. God damn….for some reason that fucking push-in on Gordon at the statue unveiling in IMAX….was like one of the nicest looking fucking shots in the movie.

    The texture on his suit and the detail in his stache….fucking amazing. Each hair was the width of my cock.

    • Yeah, that was actually my favorite music cue….that rise with the chant as he climbs….then the bats flying outta the wall….he takes the leap of faith and that split second break in the song before it slams down hard with the familiar prolapse cue as he catches the ledge….Jesus. PURE FUCKING MOVIE MAGIC. So much triumph.

      That’s the thing that Nolan nailed with this harder than any previous comic series…that sense of MANLY TRIUMPH.

    • Another moment I fucking loved that was much more understated was when he just shows up in Gotham with no explanation for how he got there. It’s like he gets out of prison and a few scenes later Selina looks over and…BAM. He’s back, FUCK YOU, that’s how.

    • Yeah, I enjoy that as well….it’s sorta this James Bond absurdity that just puts a smile on your face, the way he fucking walks up wearing fresh ass GAP gear, clean shaven, with finely combed eyebrows….he probably splashed a fucking gallon of Drakkar on his balls before heading out and combing the deserted streets of Gotham all like ‘I DON’T GIVE A FUCK’ to find Selina. And at that point, whether or not Miranda went bad….it doesn’t fucking matter, Bruce made up his mind months ago which flank of sea bass would be his for the filleting upon his return. He probably scratched her name into the side of his cock with an Uzbekistani dagger whilst in prison.

  267. And thinking about it more, I think the reason I disliked the inclusion of an American President character is I never really saw this Gotham or any Gotham as part of the regular world. I mean it may be in a place called America, but I don’t see it as the place we know. It’s a weird alternate Nolan-verse….sorta like that of Inception, where countries seem closer together than they should be and the rules and borders are slightly off-kilter. This is why Cobb can’t just have his kids brought to Europe, or he can’t enter the country under an assumed identity…..instead mysterious businessmen just snap their fingers and things happen….and Bruce can just have a fucking plane fly over China and abduct people with no international ramifications. We never get into the issue of passports or the logistics of travel in these worlds. It’s like this alternative global setting ruled by money and power. The miniscule details don’t fucking matter. Gotham seems to be simultaneously the capital of the world and an isolationist state ruled by its own internal set of laws. To suddenly bring in a president and the concept of a federal government with authority over them, brings up too many issues…..like the whole Joker wiring the bridges and tunnels and only allowing people to flee the city on ferries concept….if there is a federal authority…how the fuck were they not brought in at that point? How would a situation of that scale, with 30 million people in peril….be left to local police to handle?

    I just think that detail was better left ambiguous…..bring in the military to block the bridges, whatever….that’s fine. But to specifically show the White House press room and the American president….I dunno. It just doesn’t fit.

  272. Yeah I liked how Bats just shows up ready for action, none of this “did you steel that moped?” Avengers bullshit. Cause if Hulk was just there, I wouldn’t have questioned it…..now I have to believe he drove all the way from Mexico or where ever the fuck he landed to Cleveland in like 30 minutes? Fuck that jiz.

  273. THE BOSS.

    “Surprisingly, Nolan has never done a reshoot on one of his films.
    Recently, films like “World War Z” have made headlines for extensive reshoots, and almost every movie over a certain budget will schedule some time for pick-ups or reshoots in case something needs fixing. But not Christopher Nolan, who says he writes deliberately so he won’t need to. “I’ve never done a re-shoot, knock on wood,” he told the DGA earlier in the year. “It all comes down to editing, just craft, just hammering it with my editor every day, trying radical cuts, pulling things out, abandoning bits of exposition, saying, ‘OK, does the audience really need to understand this? What if they don’t?’ I always overwrite the exposition in my scripts so that I’ve got multiple ways to get a point across. If you tell the audience something three times they won’t understand it, but if you tell them only once, they will. It’s an odd thing. So a lot of cutting for time is, for me, cutting for clarity. It’s finding where you can just pull dialogue out that you have overwritten, so you can find that one simple way an audience can get the right point.” “

  280. Spolers below:

    So I saw The Dark Knight Rises last night. My take on it is it was very good. There were things I loved about it, things I didn’t like. I’m not complaining mind you. You don’t see me making any movies or acting. I’m just saying some things bugged me a little. But, I guess I understand where Nolan was coming from. In this movie he’s essentially combining four sagas. He finishing up R’as al Ghul and his daughter, doing the Bane storyline, Gotham No Man’s Land, and The Dark Knight Returns. Hardy is great as Bane. I didn’t expect otherwise. I loved the cameos with Liam Neeson and Cillian Murphy Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but the whole thing of how not once, but twice Batman overcomes crippling injuries to take on Bane rubbed me the wrong way. In the comic he had to take a long break, went over to Europe for treatment while Azrael took care of things. I guess it get it for movie time sake. Also, after the explosions, when the city is given to the citizens (not knowing that the bomb will go off in months anyway) they make it seem like a communist revolution, and it’s rather preachy. The reality was it was the hired guns, and the freed inmates that were going on the spree. Anway, that seemed a little too Occupy Gotham/ we are the one percent for me. I feel like the movie is almost too much to absorb in one sitting. I’ll have to check it out again. Maybe on $5 Tuesdays again, or wait for the DVD. You know they’ll have it out for Christmas. Oh, Hathaway was a very good Catwoman. Just like comic she’s stuck between criminal, and confidant. The outfits were a nice homage to Julie Newmar. They were retro, but there was a reason for that. I still didn’t buy her kicking everyone’s ass, but the whole attitude, slinkiness, and burglary skills were fine. I don’t know if I want to see a Robin Blake movie or not.

  283. Anyone else get the feeling that Nolan approaches the cast of each movie as if its the first time they’ve met? Like when Hardy brings up Inception Nolan just acts like its some nice movie Hardy was in and he enjoyed it, but they were there to make Batman 7.

  284. I was thinking more like Hardy is just as big a chameleon as Bale. He’s a man of average height, and above average stature, but Hulks out for roles like Bane, Bronson, and Warrior. This is his third go around with Oldman. IMDB called Inception his breakout role. It is to laugh.

  285. A MAN’S JUST GOTTA KNOW….

    ______________________________________

    http://laist.com/2012/07/25/aurora_massacre_suspect_to_jail_gua.php

    James Holmes, the 24-year-old accused of opening fire into a movie theater, killing 12 people and wounding 58 others attending a “Dark Knight Rises” screening, is being held at Arapahoe Detention Center in Colorado. While inmates have reportedly discussed killing him, guards and other jail employees aren’t happy with him either, since he’s been spitting at them (he’s now wearing a face guard). But now one worker reveals Holmes had a galling question: How did the Batman film end?

    The Daily News reports:

    “Did you see the movie?” a creepy-sounding Holmes asked a stunned jail worker during a bizarre exchange Tuesday. “How does it end?”

    Holmes, his eyes glazed and his voice flat, repeated the question when the worker ignored him, according to another jail employee who witnessed the incident in the infirmary.

    Holmes, a 24-year-old ex-honor student, “was trying to look like he was sincerely curious,” the witness recounted to the Daily News.

    “Like he had no idea why there was anything wrong with what he was saying. It was sick … I think he’s trying real hard to act crazy.”

  287. FAWK!!!!

    Why didn’t Alfred bust out this line whilst preparing Bruce for going toe to toe with Bane…

    “You know all there is to know about fighting, so there’s no sense us going down that same old road again. To beat this guy, you need speed – you don’t have it. And your knees can’t take the pounding, so hard running is out. And you got arthritis in your neck, and you’ve got calcium deposits on most of your joints, so sparring is out. So, what we’ll be calling on is good ol’ fashion blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, piledriving punches that will have to hurt so much they’ll rattle his ancestors.”

  289. Yeah, the whole Marvel master-plan really grosses me out. It was a well orchestrated campaign to suck the dork dick, cozy up to them real nice and brainwash them with this WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER bullshit.

    Like people actually thinking RDJ is one of them? Yeah sure…he’s just a totally regular guy that loves comic books!!!

    I mean, they busted out some serious political-moves to gain their trust.

    This kinda planted photo-op bullshit…

    http://www.superherohype.com/news/articles/102120-downey-jr-does-his-avengers-homework

    And the attack ads????

    http://screencrush.com/robert-downey-jr-the-dark-knight/

    It’s really fucking disgusting…the way these sad souls fell for that shit. And at the end of the day, the piece of shit products they pumped out didn’t really matter….cause seeing all those Avengers together…IT WAS AN EVENT!!!! One they’ve all been so patiently supporting for years! Cause…WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!

    FUCK YOU.

  292. Yeah, in response to the interview question ‘What’s it like working with Christopher Nolan?’, Bale once let it slip…. “Well…he is so efficient, so brilliant. I mean, he created this amazing character…The Batman. He told me once, he came to him in a dream, and the trilogy pretty much….wrote itself, di’int it?”

  293. You know…I liked the Avengers, in fact I’ve liked just about all the Marvel films. I like them for what they are..beautifully made popcorn flicks.

    But Nolans Batman films, while full of visceral thrills, are made for adults..no magic, no unnatural super powers…just adults, confronting adult issues and the choices they make. Guys like Knowles…having never done this in real life, are simply incapable of identifying with this film…unable to look past things like the fact that the Villain isn’t fueled by make believe gasses, but rather devotion to a woman he loves and a shared set of ideals.

  295. I’ve heard a couple dumb motherfuckers whining about Talia stabbing Batman…I loved it. I actually wanted a lot more outta that moment. I hate to continue playing the nitpicky bitch, but I just wanted this fucking thing to be 7 hours long….

    When Bruce is laying there, stunned, and twitching in pain…I thought some fucking Gladiator shit was coming up, like they sneakily weaken their opponent in the shadows before tossing him back into the ring.

    ….I thought Talia was gonna split after shanking his ass and tell Bane “Let them watch…” or some shit….making an example of Gotham’s symbol, Bane was gonna drag the motherfucker out onto the courthouse steps so men on both sides of the battles could watch The Batman fall.

    Batman staggers up to his feet, barely able to stand, and Bane just starts fucking unloading on his ass again…..then BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM MOTHERFUCKER, Catwoman blows him away in front of everyone on the bike, then helps Batman up onto it and notices his gaping wound, but keeps it covered, so as not to bring down the morale of those fighting that their leader is about to fucking keel cover….

    Could’ve been a nice moment with her in a panic, on the bike, Bruce’s arms around her, leaning on her back…having trouble keeping his eyes open….and she’s flying through the snow.

  297. I thought it was good as is..but I gotta admit your scene would have been Extra Tits

    And don’t try arguing with the whiny fucks in the internet film “Critic” community…this fucking film is just to heavy for those coddled, lightweight cunts.

  299. Yeah, I’ve read barely anything on outside sites about this film…just a few twitter crumbs here and there and a couple of links glossed over….but I just haven’t cared about any negative opinions on it.

    I mean ordinarily, no matter how I feel…a debate can be an interesting thing…but Nolan makes some of the few films that ascend past the ‘lets have a discussion’, and get to a place of WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK?

  300. HEHEHEH who here remembers MIND HEIST?

    SOOOO SINCE then Nolan has done Batman 7 and Hans has done:

    2013 Man of Steel (post-production)

    2013 Rush (post-production)

    2012 Gui Truong Luong (video short) (completed)

    2012 The Dark Knight Rises

    2012 The Simpsons: The Longest Daycare (short)

    2012 Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted

    2011 Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters (video short)

    2011 Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

    2011 Curiosity (TV series documentary)
    – Is There a Parallel Universe? (2011)

    2011 Jealous of the Birds (documentary)

    2011 Kung Fu Panda 2

    2011 Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

    2011 Crysis 2 (Video Game)

    2011 Megamind: The Button of Doom (video short)

    2011 Rango

    2011 The Dilemma

    2010 The Cover-Up (short)

    2010 How Do You Know

    2010 Inception: Motion Comics (TV series) (2010)

    2010 Kung Fu Panda Holiday Special (TV short)

    2010 Megamind

    AND that fuck hasn’t done shit since? Did he fucking blow his brains out or what? How fucking lazy do Hans and Chris think he is?

  301. Knowles is just pulling that ‘I’m smarter than the movie bullshit’ especially about the broken back since he broke his when Bush 1 was still in office and has STILL yet to recover.

    Also what I don’t understand….sorry, THEY don’t understand. These people bitching about it BEING NOT LIKE THIS COMIC OR THAT COMIC OR GO READ THOSE COMIC fucks…..ummmm Rises from what I gather (I haven’t read the comics) probably pays the up most respect to the Batman comics than ANY other comic book movie…save for 300 or Watchmen. And those movies are just those comics on screen, they are fun and nice but they are the same fucking thing.

    Nolan has taken bits of stuff here and there from like 4-5 major Batman plots and made his own thing of it, if you think about it that’s THE UPMOST respect of the fans a director/writer can really give. While people see Ironman 2 and he has a drink and all of the sudden they’ve recreated DEMON IN A BOTTLE!!!! Just because Fatrow or RDJ come out and say they LOVED THAT PLOT and wanted to do it justice. Just buying into that Marvel shit when those movies show no loyalty to their origin comics. It is pathetic that resentfulness some people seem to be having towards Rises, fuck them the movie is beautiful.

    Nolan has a much higher regard for Batman’s fan base, they aren’t babies who need to be told how to fucking feel.

  304. Honestly I think Ang should do the next round of Batman reboots. It’d bring my whole Brokeback/The Dark Knight theory together.

    At the end of Brokeback Del Mar is so distraught over what his life has become he loses it, slits his cheeks open and makes a bee line for Gotham City. Once there he turns his madness towards Rachael Dowes, who in shame changed her last name from Twist.

    “You wanna know why I got these scars? SO I COULD FIT YOUR BROTHER’S COCK AND BALLS IN MY MOUUUUUTH!”

  308. Hehehe Nolan to his wife when he’s reading the US Weekly Story about Twilight and Rupert. He leans over to his wife in bed whose reading some Steven Hawking book and says, “see, I told you she was a little trollop.” And Nolan wears like full pajamas to bed as well.

  309. My issues with the TDKR (MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!)…

    1.) Some of the characters (Like Matthew Modine’s and Talia’s) felt rushed and under-written. I get that Talia’s is tougher because of the ‘late reveal’; but even as Miranda Tate, how the hell did she manage to become a board member at Wayne Enterprises with no one apparently doing even the most minor background check? How did she become powerful as her alter ego? (And the inclusion of the blonde who lives near/with Catwoman was distracting,. My wife asked who the hell she was – ie Catwoman’s sister? Lesbian lover? Hooker?)

    2.) Matthew Modine orders EVERY one of the hundreds of police off Bane’s tail to keep chasing Batman? Not even one single squad car assigned to staying on the leader who just shot up the fucking stock exchange?

    3.) They try to apprehend Catwoman at the airport with just a few guys? She was responsible for the kidnap of a Congressman and was a believed affiliate of Bane. They’d have brought the fucking world down on her beautiful head.

    4.) The reactor gets turned into a neutron bomb in like 5 minutes by some bewildered Russian? Then they just roll it onto a truck and start driving it around?

    5.) No mention of Joker when the prison gets let out. I get the sensitivity with Heath and all but it should have been loosely referenced somehow … like Blake or someone putting others at ease: “he’s upstate surrounded by Feds”.

    6.) The whole climb with the rope was absolutely illogical. You crawl up to the first ledge like each did EVERY time…then untie the rope and make a lasso with a slipknot. Throw it to the other ledge that’s only about 10 feet away, pull the loop tight and then swing over to it and crawl out. Apparently, everyone in that jail had an IQ of 40. The scenes with the crawl were cool….but apparently the inmates weren’t very bright and, for a jail that supposedly “belongs to Bane”, where were the fucking guards? The shit was like 5 miles away from a major city but no guards preventing them from crawling out and using ropes? Huah?

    7.) The Federal government’s response was three special forces guys who were absolutely worthless in a fight and are killed in seconds? That’s it? I’m glad Nolan’s government wasn’t in charge of the Bin Laden raid.

    8.) Trying to steer a truck loaded with a b=neutron bomb by shooting at it to make it turn? Heh.

    9.) The whole grapple attached to “The Bat”….every grappling hook and cord Batman’s ever used can be released…apparently until this one. Why not just fly it over the water and release the line so the bomb gets drowned in the ocean – which is essentially what they would’ve done in the tunnel anyway? Did Lucius just forget that a releasable grapple would be useful on a plane but is on every car and belt Batman’s ever used?

    10.) Minor beef but Tom Hardy was too chatty. Whenever he started blathering on, his level of menace dropped. I get that not every villain needs to be silent – but don’t make him a chatterbox. Bane had a TON of dialogue – a bit of which people in the theater snickered at. He was a good villain…but I wouldn’t call him great.

    11.) Batman only goes at the mask during the 2nd fight? Jesus…that woulda been the first thing I tried to claw off his fucking face during fight one. And as for that fight, he’s going to the sewers to search for a terrorist every cop supposedly is looking for – but doesn’t use a single tracking device to show Gordon and the rest where the lair is? And he “trusts” the Cat and just goes in against an army of guys? Sure, he used some stealth to take a few out…but it seemed half assed like Bruce was WAY off his game. Hell, even in the first movie, he called actual bats to help his escape.

    12.) Apparently Bruce Wayne never once saw a Muhammad Ali fight – or never understood the term “Rope-a-Dope”. When you’re getting absolutely dismantled in a fight, don’t swing like a loon and exhaust yourself so you can’t provide an adequate defense. Wayne definitely seemed outmatched – but maybe Nolan meant that to be a factor of his 7 year layoff, I guess. Not sure…but it seemed odd that he lost strategy and IQ during that period.

    13.) He was missing cartilage in his knee…but somehow in a couple months (cuz he only had 5 months max before the bomb blew) he managed to rebuild his body? And was suddenly spry even though his body has deteriorating – not to mention that a dislocated vertabrae can apparently be reset by having some prisoner punch you in the back twice? No other ill effects?

    14.) Talia and Bane’s deaths are both underwhelming – Talia in a car wreck and Bane just shot by the batpod (by Catwoman). I wanted to see Batman rip that fucking mask off and let Bane piss myself in agony and then just leave him for the cops to pick up. Small issue but I felt like both deaths were anti-climatic.

    15.) They let the cops out…..and from the posters and the trailers it looked like there would be this massive LOTR-like war between the cops and the criminals – but the movie actually spends very little time on the street battle if you think about it. And Modine has just been gunned down in the streets by a fucking Tumbler – but somehow doesn’t have a visible injury or spot of blood on him. And that shit with JGL and the bus…they do this big build up of scenes with him “leading an exodus”…he gets people on the bus (the orphans etc.) then gores to the bridge and….the military just blows it up and he sits there futilely shouting at them then orders the kids back on to the bus so they can die “with hope”. Uh k.

    I could go on but it would make it seem like I “hated” TDKR and I don’t. I love Anne’s role and JGL’s. Michael Caine was great…as always. Bale was professional…probably his best acting of the three. The Batplane was great and the side-flipping tires of the batpod was absolutely badass. I dug the way they handled Anne’s escape in the bar with her gunning fools down then screaming hysterically like a hostage. But the first half was a LOT stronger than the second….the only twist that was a surprise was the identity of the kid crawling out of the pit…and I figured that out after the first scene of people fighting one guy down below as the kid climbs. None of it was surprising..though more of it worked than didn’t.

    3.5 Fists.

  310. Then there’s that moment before the “big fight” with the batplane….he just shoots the cannon of the Tumbler off, everyone cheers and he flies off? How about opening fire and scattering the fucking mob of thugs? They had no way to fight back…and by doing nothing, he let literally dozens of cops get gunned down.

    I dunno…the movie had its badass moments – but there are some major logic gaps if we’re being TRULY honest with ourselves and not just getting swept up by the score and spectacle.

  313. I don’t see the nitpicks with the nuke at all like the “microwave zapper” – the nuke didn’t just have one flaw – it had many. And besides…why, if you’re going to destroy the city, do you wait for 5 months giving Batman…and the entire fucking government not to mention populace of Gotham, time to formulate a plan to beat you?

    The more I think about it, the more I think it may be my least favorite of the three. At minimum, I put it at (or only slightly above) Batman Begins.

    I hopd to be blown away but when you look past the score and polish, the criticisms coming out about the plot are totally fair. There are a pretty significant amount of mid-size lapses in logic and decision making that take away from the film.

    My prediction: in another year ot two when people are done sucking its dick, it’ll be looked at more fairly and be thought of as a good entry – but not a great one. I see this as a movie that people will nitpick more and more over time and will be more honest about it after some time passes.

  315. Cheetoh….ewww…most of these are those fucking ‘How did Joker get all the bombs on the ferries’ level of complaints?

    Nitpicky shit you could pull on any movie ever made…I just don’t see the point in destroying dreams like that.

    I mean, complaining about the fucking nuclear bomb? Really? But you have no problem that the water zapping microwave weapon from Begins didn’t turn all the citizens of Gotham into lasagna?

    You just breezed right past that….but you have an issue with turning a fusion reactor into a nuclear weapon?

    The problem with getting into this kinda soul sucking argument is you end up trying to rationalize the complaints by pointing out equally silly shit in all the films, pretty much insulting the entire trilogy….and that’s just boring.

    I just don’t find it entertaining to try to act smarter than these things.

  316. But in response to some of your other issues…

    Covert shit going unchecked in a Batman world bothers you? Like uhhhh…the fact that all of Bruce’s fucking vehicles were military prototypes presumably commissioned by the United States government, so when they see this motherfucking Tumbler bouncing off rooftops….no one in the Pentagon thinks…OHHHH SHIT!! THAT’S WAYNE ENTERPRISES SHIT! To me that’s a much bigger issue than how Miranda Tate snuck onto the board. She’s a fucking bazillionaire co-financing their projects…you think Bruce gives enough of a fuck to do intricate background checks on these people? He hasn’t left his house in fucking years! And this high level infiltration shit happens in every one of these type films. Weird complaint. That’s grabbing.

    And the lesbian thing is such a fucking weird complaint to me, and other people have brought it up….like people can’t comprehend a female character having a confidant? The lesbian thing is immature as fuck. Harharharh…..two girls like….live together…and like…you think they go down on each other? HARHARHARHARHARHA

    I saw the point of her was to make a distinction that she’s not like Bruce, she’s not a solitary creature. She needs people in her life. And yeah, she has a small-time crook under her wing that handles the petty shit….I don’t get the complaint. It’s distracting to have characters that aren’t major players….like uhhhh….the totally worthless Spawn in TDK?

  317. “Matthew Modine orders EVERY one of the hundreds of police off Bane’s tail to keep chasing Batman?”

    Not accurate. When Modine ordered them to stay on Batman it was like 5 cop cars….it didn’t become the whole posse until after they lost the robbers.

    And within this world, would the cops do that? Yes…they would. The same reason they’d put one 50 year old schlub in the interrogation room to guard Joker, after he’s already blown up a fucking judge, poisoned the police commissioner, kidnapped and tortured people, and blown away several cops.

    The police actions in all these films are cartoonish….you’re just noticing this?

  319. And complaining that the prison has no guards…..ehhhh…I thought the point of the prison was that the only thing keeping you from leaving is your own self doubt. It’s like a test of mind power. Sorta like the Sphinx Gates in the Neverending Story…..the real test is staring into your reflection and seeing who you really are…that sends men screaming into the night, the same way time in the pit prison causes men to give up on everything they are and allow themselves to rot. You bitched that Bruce shouldn’t have trusted Catwoman, and he’s off his game….uhhh yeah? That’s like the whole point of the movie? He’s falling apart. He’s a shell of the man he once was, once he gets thrown in prison, he not only has to think about how to repair his body to challenge his adversary, but mentally….he has to challenge himself. I thought the whole ‘get rid of the rope so the fear can’t find you’ think said a lot….it’s almost like his 8 years of retirement, caused him to become a mortal man once more, and the fear has returned….the fear of failing those that he cares about…in this case, it’s the whole fucking city. But he’s lived his entire life guilty that he caused the death of his parents and he would continue to indirectly bring harm to people, Rachel’s death just added to this. All this is weighing him down in the pit….it’s not just the physical fucking challenge of climbing up the stones….Jesus Christ, how boring are movies looking at them that literally?

  320. And you totally lost me here…

    ” from the posters and the trailers it looked like there would be this massive LOTR-like war ”

    Huh? You wanted to see hordes of shitty CG people flying through the air like rag-dolls or you wanted to see Batman and like three other people fighting off thousands of Bane goons no problem? Would everything be a golden hue as well?

    I don’t get that statement.

  321. “he just shoots the cannon of the Tumbler off, everyone cheers and he flies off? How about opening fire and scattering the fucking mob of thugs? ”

    He doesn’t kill people.

    It’s like saying, when Batman first shows up on the bike and chases Bane and his guys….why didn’t he just blow them the fuck up with his missiles?

  322. Yeah…having no problem at all with a microwave zapper that doesn’t vaporize the 60% of water in our bodies….but then pointing out that the physicist switched the generation from fusion to nuclear far too quickly…it reminds me of HOD always pretending he’s got A BIG FUCKING PROBLEM with incompetent alien invaders that are ill prepared for our planet (Battle LA), but then he’s got no problem in the world with The Predator character supposedly coming to the fucking rain forest to hunt for awhile….and never bothering to make his fucking gear water proof???? FUCK YOU.

  323. But I don’t like these type of discussions because you start to point out absurdities/logic jumps that exist in every film ever made just to counter the agenda to shit on this one…and pretty soon you sound like you just hate all movies.

    That’s how Knowles came off in his bitchy review….like a guy who thinks he’s smarter than everything out there and no one will ever make a movie as awesome as the one taking a dump in his brain.

  326. Ya know….thinking about it, I really dig the way Nolan never gives these villains big grand deaths. He made it clear from the start that he wanted to focus on Bruce Wayne the man….not the operatics and grandeur of his rogues gallery. Cause really, no matter who goes up against Bruce, his greatest foe will always be himself. So Bane can give all these lofty speeches and proclaim all this wannabe revolutionary shit…but at the end of the day…FUCK YOU. Gone. Villains come and go, the symbol of Batman lives forever. It ENDURES as Alfred once said. I think that’s the greatest cock tickle I take from this, and it’s the reason I’m happy never hearing about Joker again….and Talia going down like the worthless bitch that she is. We don’t need to hang onto the impact of their deaths. Make it quick and clean. Fuck them. Move on to what matters….BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE.

  327. And I admit, Nolan does receive a bit of critical immunity and added respect because of what he’s done here…..he’s created a superhero trilogy like no other. He makes films on a scale no one else can touch right now. He made cinema an EVENT again. So in the scheme of things….is it a little goofy the cops rise out of the sewers 5 months later with spotless uniforms? Yes. Do I give a fuck about something that trivial? FUCK NO.

    and FUCK YOU

    http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/FFN_KMFF_Nolan_Christopher_070712_50825809.jpg

  328. Yoyu’re making excuses for sloppy writing. And that makes me sad and want to give you a hug – and hold you and say “This isn’t your fault” over and over til you stop screaming and finally admit it had a few issues. Were these issues big enough to make it suck? Not at all….but were there logic gaps that made it less than it could’ve been? Absolutely.

    The issue is Batman wasn’t smart…it’s not just that he’s physically weaker now (an angle I really liked until they fixed it with a damn-near mother fucking montage in the so-called prison) but his decisions are less intelligent than in the other flicks. He makes serious tactical errors that most grade school teachers wouldn’t have made.

    And that cheapened him.

    SO FUCK YOU!

  330. I think one of the few things you got Cheetoh, is this…

    “Modine has just been gunned down in the streets by a fucking Tumbler – but somehow doesn’t have a visible injury or spot of blood on him.”

    I agree….it felt neutered and abrupt. Especially after a big deal is supposed to be made of Modine showing up in his dress blues….he deserved a fucking hero’s death, at least one bad ass close-up of him firing his machine gun and screaming.

    It was BITCH MADE….and too PG-13ified….almost as bad the weird jump cut with no sound effect when Joker slices Spawn’s face and the Joker head slam on the table when the pencil is just suddenly gone.

  332. Yeah…..I think it should’ve been two films as weird as that sounds – there’s so much going on that it needed more room to breath. It’s odd to say this about a movie that’s nearly 3 hours, but it was WAY too rushed…Nolan needed to tell the studio (I’m giving you 5 hours of movie….and the first half will end with Batman climbing out of the pit). BAM. Let that shit hit hard….then a year later, come back with an Oceans 11 type plan between Batman, Gordon, the cops, Blake and begrudingly Catwoman which gets buttfucked by Talia…and yet they make it through. Let that rushed 2nd half get its own film so you can see all the build – then watch it derailed as Talia fucks everyone and they hafta go with plan B.

    LET IT BREATH NOLAN. LET IT BREATH.

  334. There’s a difference between movie magic and gaps in plot. Like there wasn’t a scene in Batman where Bruce just rolls up in some shitty moped that conceivably he drove across three states in a matter of minutes in.

    The difference between a logic gap and movie magic is in the explanation, when you try to explain it and it blows that’s a gap, when it just happens and it’s not too hard to believe that’s magic.

    • It’s not hate. It’s just that it’s only fair to good. Like I said, Nolan crammed four Batman sagas into one movie. It was too much. It was done good, but just good does not deliver when your finishing the ultimate Batman saga. I for one liked Bane. Some people didn’t like how he was portrayed. Some are taking offense that Bane is a cult leader instead of just a single villain intent on destroying Batman. Spandau didn’t like the fact that two big plot points used in Batman Begins were used here again. I thought they were used so well that I really didn’t notice. But there were other issues for me as I’ve already stated.

    • This is funny as fuck to me….out of all these fucking dork websites that go into so much trivial detail over worthless shit, NOT ONE of them gets this shit right…

      From Cinemablend, and a million other sites speculating….

      ”
      What does Bane’s mask actually do?

      You mean, “Besides making him sound ridiculous?” It’s a good question, and one Tommy Carcetti … um, Aidan Gillen asks Bane in the middle of the airplane heist. But Bane’s answer is vague. Much like his motivations throughout the rest of the film. From what we can tell, his mask helps him cope with pain that stems from the beatings he took in the pit. But how? Even though it looks like a mask one would wear in a hospital, there’s no tube leading from a gas tank to Bane’s mask. And at different points in the film, Tom Hardy stomps around without a shirt, so there’s nothing in Bane’s vest or stylish jacket that’s funneling painkillers to the bony mask.

      ”

      And from the fucking Empire Rises piece months back it was explained it’s not a fucking oxygen mask you dumb cunts…

      ”
      Costume designer Lindy Hemming revealed some details of Bane’s mask: “He was injured early in his story. He’s suffering from pain and he needs gas to survive. He Cannot survive the pain without the mask. The pipes from the mask go back along his jawline and feed into the thing at the back where there are two canisters of what ever it is… the anesthetic.” “

  350. IT’S ALL HERE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!

    Falsely accused of crimes he never committed, pit as metaphorical death, resurrection from the dead to free his people….

    “….the evil done to Joseph and Jesus was no doubt the result of wicked men’s planning and scheming, yet truly the plan of our sovereign God for the good of His people (Genesis 45:5, 7-8; 50:19-20; Acts 2:22-23; 4:27-28). Like Joseph, Jesus was falsely accused of crimes He never committed; justice was not served (in one sense [cf. Romans 3:21-26]). Joseph’s descent into the pit—the prison, was a metaphorical death, and his later exaltation through God’s plan was nothing short of a resurrection from the dead to then be exalted to the right hand of Pharaoh, and through it, to ensure the temporal salvation of many. ”

    FUCK ANYONE THAT DARE FOLLOW THIS FILM.

  352. Reading all this shit I think I’ve probably read the least into this film logic/plot/story-wise than any of you.

    I sat in the theater having not been that excited to see a movie since The Empire Strikes Back opening night. I was not disappointed.

    I’ve come to realize that I’ve mostly shed this analytical geek movielover guy and pretty much regressed into the child that just either likes a movie or doesn’t. The reasons are not important.

    Does it make your nuts tingle?

    THEN IT’S GOOD!

  356. I’ll tell you what really got my dick hard on this last viewing was when Alfred looks across the table, there’s that pause, and then BOOM…BOOM-BOOM…and the fucking Fight Club nod between him and Bruce.

    Personally, I don’t think this film is quite as good as the other two, but it has so many moments that rival both of them that it just Doesn’t. Fucking. Matter.

    I’m gonna be stickin’ my HANDS in the FILTH for the third time on Sunday.

  357. Damn, just saw it in America’s IMAX….wow amazing just fucking amazing. Even better a second time. It’s probably the best looking movie of all time, Nolan’s use of depth of field focus is so crisp and clean why the fuck can’t anyone else do that? How does the movie look SOOO fucking timeless? There’s not a shoddy CG effect in the whole thing.

    Things I notice, that’s not a Nolan cameo….unless that’s his father, or possibly him right before Memento.

    I KNOW I KNOW JGL’s character is needed…he’s good that roles fine I wouldn’t change a thing. But I would’ve liked to see Blue Bloods in that role instead of JGL, just the unknown factor of him would’ve added more power to that role, and he plays that sort of cop much better than JGL. And it would’ve been nice for someone to come out of this a STAR…everyone involved is all pretty well established at this point. Also all this bullshit about “this is the first time I’ve seen JGL as a MAN not a boy.” No this is the first time I’ve seen Anne as a women not a girl. Catwomen played so much better this time out.

    Also the complaint about the “OH THOSE COPS HAVE FRESHLY pressed uniforms what the fuck?” is bullshit. Yeah sure they don’t have 2 foot long beards, but there is a great contrast between Fluke’s uniform and the rest of the cops, also they are all unshaven and Birdy is a shining cancer riddled light in the middle of them. AND it was nice that Wind does kill The Collector (Bane’s right hand man) right before he goes down, didn’t catch that the first time.

    AND speaking of The Collector, I did and still do want more of him. Probably since I knew sort of what JGL’s character was going to do I was just more interested in his story even though he has not an interesting one, also I just like that actor more than JGL.

    Also the more I think about it, the more impressive Tommy’s acting is compared to Heathbar’s. I mean it’s all in the eyes, when he’s fucking going cross eyed in front of the prison, marvelous. Also I loved that weird growl sort of thing in the plane before he makes that drop move. It’s just a much more unique take on a villain, Heath’s is just sort of typical…it’s good but it seems like yeah that’s where you would go with that character.

    God just such a fucking good movie, it pains me because it simultaneously makes me want to make movies and never try anything creative ever again because it’ll never be as good as that. It’s one of the few big budget movies that truly speaks deeper than pure skeptical, it’s rattles you to your bones.

    As for the complaints which just come off as nothing and worthless, listen to Alfred:

    “Maybe its time we stop trying to avoid the truth and let it have its day. “

  358. Also the complaint about him taking 8 years off and the back healing bit….that shit makes the movie SOOOO SOOO much more stronger to me and I don’t see it as a complaint at all. Like all these Harry types who have such vast knowledge of “being a man” and breaking their back and how some rope and a couple of punches won’t fix it…..ehhh yeah bullshit fuck you. Like do these fucks just think hospitals existed since the dawn of time? Like how the fuck do they think medicine worked before ehhh the 1980s? Heheheh just fucking odd who rolls their eyes at that aspect.

    And I love old Bruce with the cane, just this curious middle age man, probably in pain all day. They should’ve shown like some pile of books that he’s read, like he hasn’t seen TV in 8 years. But seriously….where the FUCK can I get that robe at? It’s perfect.

  359. There is one part I really didn’t care for the first time and it seems more glaring the second time. The infiltration scene with the Grey’s Anatomy/Rescue Me fuck. The scene is fine and dandy, doesn’t add anything and was the only time it felt like Nolan was trying to play up the real worldism of it all. Like he knew if he didn’t show a scene like that weirdos would be all pissed about “THERE’S NO WAY THE OUTSIDE WORLD WOULDN’T HAVE DONE ANYTHING.” Just trying to show how it’s in the real world, also they should’ve gotten a better actor for that scene then, I like that guy but if they had gotten some old heavy at least then it would’ve been fun or interesting but also it would’ve been possibly more worthless.

  360. I don’t really get down with this kinda shit….but pretty good fucking discussion here, the first time I’ve heard criticism of some of these issues without trying to come off like ‘I’m too smart for this movie’ wankers.

    http://popwatch.ew.com/2012/07/28/dark-knight-rises-ending-analysis-podcast/

    One idea I like, that I hadn’t really considered much is the idea that Bruce wants the ‘Uppity Cunt Bruce Wayne’ persona to die. So he not only uses this situation to put his own incarnation of Batman to sleep, but also this character of a human being he’s been playing his entire life and has started to hate more and more as the years went on. The weird thing though, what the fuck do the people of Gotham think now knowing Bruce was Batman all along? They never explicitly say in the film…EVERYONE NOW KNOWS…they go from the Batman statue to the Bruce Wayne estate meeting, and the boy’s home plaque….so it’s assumed it’s now public knowledge that he was the guy, but what does that then do for his SYMBOL idea? The idea that the man in the cowl can live or die, what’s important is Batman as a legend/symbol. To just come out and reveal it was this one ordinary dude all along, and now he’s fucking dead….doesn’t that kind of ruin the mythology of it to the people of the city?

  361. Hhhhmmm….also going with all those biblical themes of ascension, the idea that the last time Bruce was in a pit, his father pulled him out and told him ‘don’t be afraid’. And that whole concept of FEAR sorta defining the rest of his life, then the dude in the prison tells him to get rid of the rope so fear can’t find him…..then he fucking crawls out of the pit himself. The ascension of Christ-like build up for the ultimate self-sacrifice in the end, to give his own life for his city and wash away their sins one last time…….yeah, that’s some legendary BALLER shit right there.

    You think about all these grand concepts, then you hear some pubic hair bearded wart-hog motherfucker sniffling how it DOESN’T FEEL LIKE A BATMAN MOVIE, and you just wanna smash the cunt’s nose into his skull.

  362. Yeah, I fucking hated this. Faraci and Rex Reed were right. I mean I appreciate that the Balievers still enjoyed it. If you guys hated it my world would be gone right now…so bless you.

    This whole thing is just a fucking mess and the editing is back to being Batman Begins levels of shit. Modine’s death might be the most terrible editing of violence I’ve seen in a motion picture in my entire adult life. Just awful and embarrasssing for a movie that cost so much money. I think that moment was also when it sunk into me that the movie was garbage. I mean I already knew I wasn’t enjoying it but I didn’t really enjoy Inception until I saw it at home so there was still hope. After that though? Ffffffff.

    The violence overrall was pretty weak. Lots of weird parts where the sound just drops out for no reason. The catwoman wrist break is a perfect example of that but it happens a lot. Bane kneeing that special forces guy is another example. The violence is just BALL LESS.

    The Bane death was piss weak and awful for the coolest character in the movie. Scarecrow didn’t wear his mask. The forced humor was shit.

    Batman recovers fucking twice for no reason I can think of other than Frank Miller dicksuck. Starting the movie off with Batman being retired is really the worst decision Nolan ever made. Him being all gimped out just doesn’t fucking make any sense if all he’s been doing is dicking around for 8 years. Noles should never have fucked with the Rocky 3 formula. Having him still be active as Batman at the beginning would also help explain why Gordon is inexplicably being forced out at the begining.

    Gordon carrying his speech in his coat pocket everywhere he goes? Fucking pathetic screenwriting. Funnily enough I once called Jonathan Nolan the greatest writer in Hollywood after TDK came out. I don’t know what the fuck happened here.

    All the political stuff plays super flat. It’s brought up randomly/awkwardly and Nolan goes nowhere with it. Are we really supposed to believe the citizens of Gotham are going to fucking side with Bane? Even though he’s obviously evil and wears a scary mask? I don’t….I don’t even know what to say.

    There were moments throughout this film where I actually said aloud, “Christopher Nolan has lost his fucking mind” and during the Robin thing at the end, “Christopher Nolan is fucking retarded”.

    The Robin thing is really baffling. Why the fuck was that necessary? We as the audience already understand that John Blake is the Nolan version of Robin. He didn’t have to spell it out like some superherohype poster. That shit was pure fucking fan fiction.

    The pit. Fucking stupid. I know it was supposed to be symbolic but it still doesn’t make any of that shit less dumb. Ugh. I could accept it more if we weren’t shown Bruce needing braces and shit just to walk earlier in the fucking movie.

    Now I know what the ballless hogs who have been complaining about The Phantom Menace for decades feel like. This thing made me angry. This could have been so much better if someone at WB had spoken up sooner and started questioning some of these decisions.

    As far as I’m concerned this shit never happened.

    All right. That’s enough. Going to go blow off some steam by getting some tranny head off of craigslist. See ya.

  364. Oh and the Talia betrayal at the end…what the fuck? Completely hollow. Who gives a shit about their relationship? She was just some random bitch Bruce was slumming with when things were looking down. Why would he be heartbroken? The only reason they’re a couple in this is because of the comics. There isn’t any reason for this shit to happen in the movie and it feels forced as fuck.

    The more I think about it the more I realize the movie might as well have been the Nolan clan taking a piss on Heath’s grave for 2 hours and 45 minutes. That’s what this amounts to.

  365. The criticism of this movie is hilarious….it really is such fucking internet Phantom Menace faggotry, either based on this IT’S NOT A REAL BATMAN MOVIE cunt-swab or absolute mundane shit like Modine’s death or the fucking degree of difficulty of Bruce’s climb out of the pit. I’ve yet to meet a person in the flesh realm that didn’t enjoy the shit out of this in the three times I’ve seen it. I’ve yet to see people coming out of the theater NOT smiling.

    And the fucking obnoxious ‘logic’ issues people complain about….like how did Bruce get back to Gotham from Uzbekistan? Uhhhhh….I still wonder how did Bruce sneak into China and blow up the side of a fucking building, abduct a prominent Chinese citizen, and fly back to America without any military intervnetion?

    If you hate the entire trilogy, I totally understand….but anyone claiming there’s this big step down in realism in this one, yeah go fuck yourself….the agenda is slippery and foul.

  366. I don’t give a fuck about realism. I never have. I was fine with Bruce getting back into Gotham. Didn’t want to see another long boring montage of bullshit at that point. Nolan couldn’t find a quick way of getting him back and just said fuck it. Good.

    Come on though. All of us know the Modine death was a fucking abortion and we were all a little embarrassed when it happened. That shot was like something out of a home movie.

  367. I said up above his death sucked….we should’ve seen him firing off some shots screaming and taking a hit….it was a weird censored cut…so? 2 seconds is supposed to change my opinion of a film?

    BITCH MADE.

    Pretending overall it’s some lightweight neutered film is such fucking bullshit….the first Batman/Bane brawl is raw and devastating. There are few R rated fights I can think of with that level of hard hitting brutality. I would’ve been in tears the second time were it not for the worthless bitch beside me.

    • I don’t know. I kinda dig that cut for some reason. Maybe it’s because of Cotillard’s line delivery, with the glazed look in her eyes. “Shoot them. Shoot them all.”

      And there’s Modine fucking lying there dead, almost smiling, and one little spot of blood on his white glove.

      THIS IS POETRY IS WHAT IT IS.

  368. Yeah, there is a lot of bitchy pissing and moaning on the web right now. Somebody started a thread on IMDb (why the fuck am I visiting that site?) about how BATMAN IS A LIE! and that they sided more with Bane because at least HE has convictions. Motherfucker, Batman is FICTION. Get a fucking life. I mean, who doesn’t want to see Bruce actually get on with his life? After three movies and hearing shit like “The man I loved never came back at all” and “Whoever Batman is, he doesn’t want to do this forever. How could he?” Why shouldn’t Bruce get want he fucking wants. HE GAVE THESE PEOPLE EVERYTHING. People would really prefer that he sacrifice himself? Batman’s symbolic death so Bruce can finally live is probably the best thing about the whole film. I just don’t get these fuckers.

    I can respect odo’s opinion, because he at least dislikes the film based on the content and not because he’s heartbroken because Batman lied about dying in a nuclear explosion. Or something.

    I’ve been drinking, I don’t know why the fuck I’m here.

    WHERE’S THE TRIGGER?? WHERE IS IT???

  370. God that shot of the Bat flying into the bat cave….that’ll probably be the last thing I think of before I die. I’m not lying I honestly can’t stop thinking about the film and how good it was. That hasn’t happen to me in a while.

    And yeah I’m glad people don’t love it fuckem (Hehehe fuckem wants to auto correct to Dickens?). God what a good movie. Also people saying its ball less? Then they are missing the point. And I’m sorry the Joker, that shits easy that style of acting isn’t that hard. Also there was no physicality to it, Bane had to act with his fucking eyes and voice, he never over did it. Jesus that fucking speech he gives outside of the prison, nothing heath did touched that. Heaths performance is good, its only great because of Nolan though.

  371. Yeah Birdy’s death actually hit harder for me the second time around, just because I was glad he was all part of the theme…RISING. Him crawling through the dusty and worn down looking cops in his shinning blue dress uniform, it’s epic enough. And knowing that he at least killed Bane’s right hand man before he went down was redemption to me. Yeah I get how he’s a little throw away role but it rounds out the movie so well and just… JUST FUCKING RISE! God this movie is about every man standing up for whats right and not running away like a coward and hoping for some random 4 man gods to fucking protect you.

    If you look through Nolan’s career, he just hates death. Maybe he doesn’t know the fucking rules to rated R or PG-13, he probably thinks as long as you don’t cuss and show blood or death you’ll be fine. Also I dug that he didn’t have to stoop to the EPIC PG-13 ONE TIME USE OF FUCK, those are fun but they are for lesser movies. Like a lesser director would’ve had Bane or Joker at least say FUCK YOU or something to Batman at one point.

    I mean the movie isn’t about death so who gives a fuck? Bane coming in and taking over the stock market like that, is scarier then anything else in any movie I’ve seen in a while. It’s frightening, it’s so much better than 99% of other bank heist movies. There’s no lingering, no fucking around, no one is scared or hesitant. How fucking scary is that precision?

    AND speaking of Bank Heist’s, hunt down BBC’s Inside Men, Hod told me about it luckily the internet missed it and didn’t suck it off to death. It’s only four episodes long, and better yet Nolan was a fan of it.

  372. Also with Joker, he’s not scary, he’s annoying. Bat knows good and well he can kill and end Joker just put them in a room together he just needed to get one step ahead of him. Bane was always too far ahead of Batman and to strong for him to end him on his own he needed help.

  373. I’ll tell you what this movie was missing. Some good GODFATHER III moments.

    How easy would it have been for Bale to knock out a “Just when I thought I was out…THEY PULL ME BACK IN.”

    Or Gordon in his hospital bed: “I command this police force…RIGHT OR WRONG!”

    In fact, Bale should’ve just done this whole scene:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UneS2Uwc6xw

  374. I didn’t see why all most of Gotham city suddenly decided to occupy Gotham, run park avenue residents out of there homed, and join up with Bane. Yeah, I know it was only the criminal element, but still the average Joe is hiding in their home like Modine. Though him showing up for the brawl was good, he got his chance to rise. Seeing go out guns blazing wouldn’t have added anything. This was an all out fist fight, raw and ganglike. I agree its so much cooler with Colliard and her sweet tits just saying shoot them all and laying there cut down. He stood his ground, he rose to the occasion, just like Batman rises

    • It’s sorta like Bela Lugosi explaining that the seduction of the vampire stems from the symbolism of blood….representing the reproductive cycle and childbirth….by that same token, all manly films should provide a whiff of gay tension. There’s something primordial and ravenous and brutal about slamming God’s greatest gift into the colon of a lesser man. If Alexander the Great taught us anything, it’s that kingdoms weren’t conquered with a xyston, no…empires were built with the HEAD OF A COCK.

  377. Even GORE VIDAL fuckin’ got it!

    “Vidal also worked in Hollywood, writing the script for “Suddenly Last Summer” and adding a subtle homoerotic context to “Ben-Hur.” The author himself later appeared in a documentary about gays in Hollywood, “The Celluloid Closet.””

    REST IN PEACE.

  378. Tony Scott knew it in Top Gun. Sure that volleyball scene was put in for eye candy for the ladies, but it’s like they were playing ass grab in the shower instead.

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