Cheetoh goes Salmon Fishing in the Yemen but plays catch-and-release with Emily Blunt’s snapper.

Posted by: Basement Cheetoh Eater Posted on Posted in: , , , ,
Does this fucker actually fly?

I dug this movie.  

I was on a plane out to California to do some high-altitude hiking in the Cascades.  I’d brought my laptop so I could watch something worthwhile  (I was leaning towards Punisher: War Zone to amuse the old bat sitting to my right who kept stealing glances at my screen).  But then ‘Salmon Fishing in the Yemen’ came on.  I hadn’t seen it…and Lasse Halstrom has been pretty consistent in the past plus I tend to like Ewan McGregor whenever he’s not wielding a lightsaber.

The dapper and the snapper.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is a pleasant surprise.  It’s funny, sweet and a little sad – but also a bit hopeful in the end.  The movie’s main plot revolves around a billionaire sheik who loves fly fishing.  He spends the hot Summers on an estate outside of London (while managing the affairs of his vast oil empire in the Yemen whenever he’s not waving a stick at the water).  He’s a master fisherman; well schooled in the ancient art. And he sees fishing as a metaphor for the restoration of faith across the Middle East.  The sheik (charmingly portrayed by Egyptian heavy Amr Waked of “Syriana” fame) hires a major English consulting firm to oversee the $50 million creation of a salmon fishing stream near his dam in Yemen.  And they predictably scoff at the notion:  salmon require cold water, after all, and why would a bunch of dune hoppers be interested in fly rods and hip waders?  Last time anyone checked, the Orvitz store in downtown Riyadh wasn’t doing so hot.

“Clearly, this shit ain’t gonna work, yo”.

Ewan McGregor plays Dr. Alfred Jones, a salmon fisheries expert who suffers from Asperger’s (the condition is played softly here with Ewan portrayed merely as difficult and socially awkward).  He’s assigned to assist ministry consultant Harriet (Emily Blunt) as a co-project manager overseeing the lofty plan. Putting additional pressure on the project is the Prime Minister’s unscrupulous Press Secretary (a typically shrill Kristin Scott Thomas) who tows an uncomfortable line between approval ratings and personal ambition.  There are half a dozen smaller sub-plots (failed marriages, tribal politics, inter-office backstabbing) but the only one that really plays into the tale is Harriet’s boyfriend who goes Missing in Action when his chopper crashes in Afghanistan.

The plot probably has a dozen beats…and, to be fair, all of them work except the last one. It’s not enough to ruin the experience…but the way the missing boyfriend’s tale is worked into the climax feels forced and the film would’ve been the stronger for cutting it altogether.

But that aside, there’s little to criticize here.  The performances range from great (Ewan and Amr) to passable (Emily Blunt who seems a little uncomfortable in her own skin).  The cinematography is rich and lush – exactly what you’d come to expect from a Lasse Halstrom movie.  And the movie works best when it uses fishing as a metaphor for man’s eternal search for faith (and the will to keep hoping even when failures seem to give you every reason to quit).

“A fly rod? Wouldn’t an explosive jacket be better?”

And now a word about Emily Blunt.  What’s the fucking deal with her?  Where does the interest come from?  Sure, she mostly gets it done here – but I just don’t see how she’s become a name in such a short period of time (her performances barely seem to stand out).   Was it her legendary turn in Gnomeo & Juliet?  Did she really serve The Adjustment Bureau in some way that makes people want to see her in more shit?  How does she keep getting cast?  If they need a prim brit with decent locks, they should cast Rebecca Hall who manages to take roles and allow them to grow larger than what’s put on the page – and that’s my big gripe with Blunt…other than having a decent last name, not a one of her roles has ever evolved into more than the script calls for.  It’s almost an apathy that should be unforgivable.  Hell, it’s probably why audiences abandoned Jim Caviezel….people love talent but they hate lazy.

That aside, I give Salmon Fishing in the Yemen a solid three fists.  It’s not Halstrom’s best…but it’s quirky and sweet enough to be worthy of a date night watch.

Now thats one fine bass.

 

Comments (155)

  1. Yeah, Emily’s an odd one….she totally looks like she’d roll her big dumbo ceiling eyes at you as you pop between her hanging slop-udders.

    I did enjoy her in that Colin Hanks magician joint though…she’s like the perfect seductive bitch you’d love to get stuck in a motel room with.

    It seems like everything would be a burden for her…. “You want me to jerk you off? Doesn’t your own hand feel the same? FIIIIIIIIIIIIINE. But cum quick.”

    • Yeah it looked odd for her to pop up in that Five-Year Engagement thing, she comes off like she’d be disgusted by that kind of film.

      But Rose Byrne? Nawww….after Insidious, she should’ve Sanduskied a shotgun up her own asshole. She’ll never be interesting again. She’s like the bland Shannyn Sossamon.

      It’s difficult to find a woman that comes off like a human being these days. They’re all so bizarrely alien.

  3. Yeah, that’s weird though….just hearing about it I don’t like the idea of the missing boyfriend in this….from the trailer, it looked to be two lonely people dedicated to their work that have this magical experience in a foreign land with one another.

    The only baggage I wanna see on Emily are her hanging tits.

  17. There’s such a crazy attention to detail and authentic grit to this movie….it’s probably the most real-world feeling of all Bonds. The car chase through the Swiss village for instance, you never see shit like that….everything always feels stagey.

  27. Also…why doesn’t anyone give a fuck about X-Men movies?

    2000 X-Men Bryan Singer $296,339,527
    2003 X2: X-Men United Bryan Singer $407,711,549
    2006 X-Men: The Last Stand Brett Ratner $459,359,555
    2009 X-Men Origins: Wolverine Gavin Hood $373,062,864
    2011 X-Men: First Class Matthew Vaughn $348,529,513

  34. Speaking of Bill Murray…there’s a new rumor coming out each week about Ghostbusters 3. Am I the only fuck that fully supports his decision to not do it? I don’t see how GB3 would benefit him at all…no one’s really clamoring for it – most insiders view it as a Dan Akroyd money grab…and Bill’s career is in a semi-decent place since Wes Anderson keeps giving him pity roles in whatever quirky, pretentious shit he’s working on. Why even bother? And the rumors about putting Sean William Scott and Seth Rogen in it? Christ….it sounds about as funny as crib death.

  36. Yeah…it’s weird, other than Wes shit, I haven’t given a fuck about anything Bill has done since Translation…and before that was what? The Man Who Knew Too Little in ’97…he can drop dead tomorrow and I wouldn’t notice.

    That being said, that FDR erotic thriller with Laura Linney does look pretty good…

  39. I look forward to Moonrise Kingdom. Always enjoyed Bill, even if he had a couple late 80s early 90s movies where it seemed like he was simply “being Bill Murray.” Like Quick Change.

    Meanwhile, I am veinous and throbbing over TDKR in a week.

    • Eh Moonrise Kingdom mostly blows. It’s for die hard Wes Anderson fans who probably also dig kiddie porn.

      Also I’m pretty sure I saw the grown up version of the main kid working at some shitty mexican restaurant down the street….so he has that to look forward to.

  47. Yeah….after about a half hour, Pryor pretty much fucks off for good. All the dickhead Superman shit is played pretty well by Mason Verger. And I like the whacky sci-fi shit with the cyborg bitch at the end.

    Overall….it’s much better than part 2 actually. I guess i spoke too soon and put the cunt before the horse, but I really do fucking despise Pryor.

    Also….I liked Annette O’Toole stepping in for ole’ Piss Tooth. Much easier on the eyes….and the single mother angle was interesting.

  53. And the thing about Breaking Bad…why isn’t he fucking dead yet? Wasn’t the whole point the idea that this ordinary guy turns to drugs cause uhhhh….he only has a short time to sort out his family’s finances?

    Dying of TERMINAL lung cancer for 5 years? FUCK YOU.

  55. I’ve seen three episodes….one of them was that BIG FUCKING FINALE Odo convinced me to watch.

    it’s an embarrassment. The money they supposedly spend on each episode is fucking mind boggling. Where the fuck does the cash go?

    Glad the internet has started to forget it exists.

  56. Yeah your opinion on Breaking Bad is about as useful as someone who only saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter in 3D. It’s just fucking useless. At least Scott was man enough to have a valid opinion on it.

    Now shut the fuck up and watch Blue Bloods.

  57. And I love the argument that I just so happened to watch the three WORST episodes of the entire show, and i just gotta ‘stick with the whole season for it to pay off’.

    You know, I get big arcs….I get season-long builds, that’s fine. But I’m not stupid. I know a shit production when I see one. I know when a show has overstayed its welcome and entire episodes solves nothing and draaaaaaaaaag themselves along just to fill a fucking season order.

    Fuck everything about Cranston post-2006. IF HE WAS AN ANIMAL….HE’D BE A LAME-O-GATOR!!!!

    • Yeah again…worthless. Call me when you’ve at least tried the first few episodes. Either way the last season of Mad Men was finally something for that show to give a shit about.

      And regardless how you feel about BB, Blue Bloods and Hell on Wheels are the sloppy tits you’ve been looking for.

      Oh and Walt ended up beating cancer sometime in the middle of season 5.

    • Yeah read any free movie going critic who saw it. Same ole pussy bullshit.

      “I’M NEVER SEEING ANOTHER MOVIE IN 3D!”

      You’ve been invited to a free screening of BLAH BLAH in 3D for an early preview.

      “I’M SO THERE!”

  65. The heating element on your dryer is probably overheating. If its not a backed lint trap, then it’s the thermal resistors (they switch on/off the heating element). When those got fucked up, they can’t switch off the heating coils and will cause overheating which can trip the circuit breakers. Werd.

  69. Alright….listening to this RISES score for a full 36 hours, I’ve come to the conclusion it’s NOT as good as TDK.

    I mean, not to say it’s bad….obviously it still kills 95% of the shit out there, the signature Zimmer cues we know from this series still tear the panties off…..the giant fucking rise in DESPAIR sounds like it’s gonna be one bad ass fucking reveal. I’m hoping that’s the first time we see Batman and it’s like 30 minutes before the end.

    But as far as color and complexity and the spirit of the villains woven throughout the whole piece as TDK was….Rises is lacking. This has more of an underlying sense of longing, but there’s nothing that comes close to the tragedy of WATCH THE WORLD BURN on TDK. Maybe it was Howard’s contribution….but TDK had a sophistication about it. The score feels like a fucking opera, there’s an ethereal emotional punch, tracks blend seamlessly and it feels like one giant cohesive piece. Rises is much more fragmented. Sure we’ve got Bane’s big piece GOTHAM’S RECKONING, which is awesome and perfectly Bernard Hermann-esque, it played really well in the IMAX prologue, but that’s sorta it. I don’t really feel much of that flavor trickle in and out of the rest of it, there’s a little of that Bane chant stuff, but it’s very minimal….which is a good thing, cause it’d get fucking annoying if it was used much more. But still…it’s surprising, how faint the Bane vibe is in this…considering how much he seems to come into play in the story. I know this is obviously the abridged version of the score, as they all are….but surely they included all the major pieces. So we get a few new pieces, but nothing that sticks with you like TDK shit. It’s mostly just reworkings of previous music. I mean, UNDERGROUND ARMY is hard as fuck, but it’s mostly a Jan Hammer/Tangerine Dream remix of previous work. For me, LIKE A DOG CHASING CARS and INTRODUCE A LITTLE ANARCHY are pretty much the gold standard of the modern action film. So fucking heavy, so fucking textured, so fucking triumphant, and neither of them are over 5 minutes. People are making a big deal of Rises’ IMAGINE THE FIRE, cause it’s so fucking long….but most of that shit is just typical electric percussion based action stuff, the same as everything these days….it’s so much like Zimmer clones, Hans even uses some sped-up Scorponok/Transformers shit at 2:40. So major chunks sounds like filler that could’ve been done by a Steve Jablonsky-type, and probably were. Maybe that’s the difference….Hans handed the filler work to his minions, shit that would usually be handled by Howard. Whatever the case, it’s a little bit of a letdown. Yeah…it’s Zimmer, so of course it’s good….and it’s mostly dependent on all the same Dark Knight shit we love, so of course of course it’s good….but as far as taking risks, and REALLY trying something different and giving us some fresh bangers we haven’t heard, it’s a little lacking.

    THE END.

  70. And as good as some of the new builds are, nothing comes close to this….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZTsgfjOHnE

    At 4:20 it just fucking bleeds of a desperate hero…..then ends with a hint of that subconscious Joker feedback…..then back into the classic piano work….

    There’s just nothing in the new stuff that has that kinda flow. It’s much more abrasive and predictable. Which some could probably argue is the whole point.

    Still though, I can’t help but compare the scores and hope that’s not wholly indicative of the quality/impact of the film.

  71. And the great SCORPONOK, with that grating bass thing that pops up in IMAGINE THE FIRE at 2:40.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDFns0LA7O0&feature=related

    I know Hans did some music for Trans, so maybe that bit was always his. It seems all these Hans underlings are cross pollinating their jizz wads these days, Harry-Gregson, Streitenfeld, Jablonsky, and a few others…..which is fine, but also part of the reason it all starts to sound the same.

  73. Was that Scorponok track even in Transformers? I don’t remember that shit showing up in the movie.

    And if you’re going to accuse Hans of ripping himself off you should have used Black Rain as an example. The first half of “Imagine the Fire” is pretty much “Molossus” mixed with the last minute of this…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WH9HZLhL7bg

    Biggest bummer about the TDKR soundtrack is that “Why do we Fall?” is basically a build up to nothing. After hearing the sample I was expecting something truly impressive.

    Actually I take that back. Biggest bummer is that the music from the MTV spot/Nokia trailer apparently isn’t in the movie!! Though apparently the end credit music is being help back until next week so it might show up there.

    Oh and Danny liked the Breaking Bad finale he saw just fine. He’s totally bullshitting everyone. I was there.

  74. The X-Men movies were never great moneymakers. That’s why FOX was so notoriously cheap with them and treated Singer like shit. They couldn’t see the bigger picture.

    The sad thing is that it’s a franchise that could have easily been making Spiderman money by now if they hadn’t gotten so lazy with the third. Earning back the goodwill they lost with The Last Stand and Wolverine is going to be an uphill battle. If they had gone with Singer’s original plan of doing 3 and 4 back to back in the same year and focusing on The Dark Phoenix saga the 4th would have done a billion easy. Especially if they were both good of course.

  75. I know what you mean about that WHY DO WE FALL build. The samples overall were actually much more impressive.

    And no movie starring Hugh Jackman will ever get anywhere near a billion, unless of course he had a minor supporting role in GAMBIT: THE MOVIE! starring worldwide sensation Taylor Kitsch.

  86. But yeah that Batman 7 score from what I heard was nice, but it didn’t really have any banggers compared to the first 6.

    Also have you noticed how cheesy the toys for it are? That’s usually not a good sign.

  87. Oldman was on Kimmel last night talking about how secret the scripts are. They are on red paper so you can’t copy them, serial numbered and water marked with the actors name. I wonder if only Oldman/Cain/Bale were given mostly complete scripts? Everyone else had to read daily made cue cards, and no way is C Nols trusting Freeman with shit.

    I wonder how much Bales script will go for at an auction for charity?

  88. Eh it feels kind of out there but with the way cunts spoil just about every movie now, Nolan has to play it close to the vest. I’m somewhat impressed by how well he’s managed to keep some details unknown despite all the trailers and the amount of people working on the movie itself. But then, he changes virtually the entire production team every 3-4 weeks so no one has a full view of the film.

  89. Yeah…I think even though it seems like there’s so much material out there, it’s still a very small portion of the film, what we’ve seen. It’s pretty fucking crazy how minimal the plot details still are, Bane comes to Gotham to cause class wars….there’s a big fucking riot…at some point Bane knows Batman’s identity….Bane fucks up Batman’s mask….Catwoman is helping out Batman….the end.

    I mean, compare that to some Amazing Spider-Man bullshit, something so paper-thin where literally ever decent moment of the film WAS in all the marketing, and the trailers pretty much tell the entire story from start to finish. There’s zero surprise, no set-pieces we haven’t seen. It’s all fucking there.

  91. Yeah I just remember how I felt about Inception prior to seeing it, and then how no reviewer could really get their shit straight and how pretty much nothing was given away in the trailers…..yet it was all there. I’m not too worried about that.

    I just wanna see what these fucking scripts look like? And how fucking paranoid is Nolan about leeks? How did he even write them/print them?

    It almost would be funnier if he just fucking hand wrote everything the night before and handed out these shitty looking hand written notes as to what peoples dialog/action where going to be that day.

    I would like to see the process a little bit….maybe not too much, but to see how it all comes together. Because if you don’t know the fucking end….how the fuck do you know how to act out scenes with the right emotion?

    Like what if in the end fucking Cain kills Batman? Like Batman is so bad he asks Cain to mercy fuck him…i mean kill him. And Cain’s like….ohhhh had I know THAT was coming down the lie I would’ve worn my pants more often on set.

  92. Hhhhmmm…I never heard this.

    “Coming Soon reports Nolan has confessed that nothing less than Charles Dickens’ classic novel A Tale of Two Cities influenced the development of The Dark Knight Rises. If you haven’t read this hallmark of high school assigned reading, don’t worry, neither had Christopher Nolan. That is until Jonathan—or Jonah as his brother calls him—handed him the first draft of The Dark Knight Rises, which came in around 400 pages and told the director, “You’ve got to think of A Tale of Two Cities which, of course, you’ve read.” Christopher responded, “Absolutely,” but as he read the script and was “a little baffled,” he realized he actually hadn’t ever read the classic. “Then I got it, read it and absolutely loved it and got completely what he was talking about… When I did my draft on the script, it was all about A Tale of Two Cities.”

    Speaking on particulars, Jonathan explained he was attracted to Dickens’ portrayal of a society in upheaval over class warfare. “A Tale of Two Cities was, to me, one of the most harrowing portrait of a relatable, recognizable civilization that completely folded to pieces with the terrors in Paris in France in that period. It’s hard to imagine that things can go that badly wrong.” “

  94. Yeah, I hope it ends with Batman sacrificing himself after reciting this entire monologue:

    ______________________________________

    I see Barsad, … Defarge, The Vengeance [a lieutenant of Madame Defarge], … long ranks of the new oppressors who have risen on the destruction of the old, perishing by this retributive instrument, before it shall cease out of its present use. I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss, and, in their struggles to be truly free, in their triumphs and defeats, through long years to come, I see the evil of this time and of the previous time of which this is the natural birth, gradually making expiation for itself and wearing out.

    I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy, in that England which I shall see no more. I see Her with a child upon her bosom, who bears my name. I see her father, aged and bent, but otherwise restored, and faithful to all men in his healing office, and at peace. I see the good old man [Mr. Lorry], so long their friend, in ten years’ time enriching them with all he has, and passing tranquilly to his reward.

    I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants, generations hence. I see her, an old woman, weeping for me on the anniversary of this day. I see her and her husband, their course done, lying side by side in their last earthly bed, and I know that each was not more honoured and held sacred in the other’s soul, than I was in the souls of both.

    I see that child who lay upon her bosom and who bore my name, a man winning his way up in that path of life which once was mine. I see him winning it so well, that my name is made illustrious there by the light of his. I see the blots I threw upon it, faded away. I see him, fore-most of just judges and honoured men, bringing a boy of my name, with a forehead that I know and golden hair, to this place—then fair to look upon, with not a trace of this day’s disfigurement—and I hear him tell the child my story, with a tender and a faltering voice.

    It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.

  111. The new Oz looks like the 5 millionth abortion Disney’s pumped out in the last 3 years. It almost looks like a beat for beat remake of the horrible Burton Alice in Wonderland.

  114. If you just compare box office to budget, is Taylor Kitsch the worst casting bet of all time? And don’t try and throw in X-Men cuz he has maybe four lines.

    Battleship, John Carter…and now he and that horse faced twat Blake Lively have ruined Oliver Stone.

    Taylor’s parents must be so proud. No wonder they won’t let him back into Canada.

  117. I like the look of OZ. There was that one fucking wide shot reveal of Oz with the lake and the colorful garden looking thing that looked similar to Alice and that’s it. The rest of it looks similar why? Cause it’s fucking fantasy with green-screen work?

    Michelle looks cool, Kunis looks like her normal soulless cunt self.

    Overall, it’ll probably look more realistic than that piece of shit The Hobbit you’ll all be bobbing on.

    I wish Raimi nothing but success.

  125. I dig the new Oz trailer, feels like a more though out fleshed out world. Franco is looking good.

    Only thing I didn’t like was the hand at the end….why the fuck did that have to be CGI? When it does get too overly CGI like Alice it’s just boring. I like that funky mix of CGI and real.

  127. The new Oz has the worst use of greenscreen I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s also a fucking prequel just like Alice. I think they mentioned how they were trying to replicate the success of Alice in the fucking Disney press release. So yeah, sorry if it reminded me of it.

  128. That Mondo poster is even funnier if you’re familiar with the artists abysmal comic book work. Of all the artists they could have found to draw it they picked him? BWHAHAHAHHAHA.

  134. So just finished watching Home On The Range, the one Disney animated film I hadn’t seen and I’m probably the first person ever to watch it.

    It’s a slight film, odd to sort of explain. I can see where it’s easy to write off….but this is pre Avengers Disney, but this was CGI takeover period. And yeah this was just the wrong sort of movie to really generate interest in hand drawn animation. But the animation in the movie is fantastic….it’s the story that’s lacking. I wish the animation had been this good on Atlantis.

    Like the way the movie is, it reminds me of one of those mid 90s Disney knock off/wannabe films ones that never connected with the audience and the animation was never as good as a Disney movie, and they also were more cutsy and not as dramatic as a Disney animated movie and sort of annoying to watch. Usually they would boost a bunch of former stars in the lead roles. It’s like that…but not annoying, it’s smooth like hot butter on your balls like all Disney animated movies, you know what I’m saying though? How Disney animated movies just flow so well and are so well put together and it’s fun and cutsy and not annoying. It flirts with the edge a bunch (the kung fu cow stuff toward the end) but I mean it’s just there to make you smile and love life. Just the story is sort of odd and it’s not really dramatic. And the voice cast was Rosanne Barr, Randy Quaid, Judy Dench, Jennifer Tilly and Steve Buscemi has like three lines.

    Overall it was nice, it’s just a nice movie. I could see where kids may like it…but what fucking weird kid likes cows? Also the Rosanne Barr/Judi Dench team up was just odd.

    THE one thing I really liked about it and made me realize why I really liked early Pixar movies like Toy Story/Cars/Bugs Life was how fucking American it was. I sat there and thought man pretty much since The Great Mouse Detective all Disney animated films have taken place outside of America, except for maybe Brother Bear but that movie felt very Canadian to me. Home On The Range is America. So I really dug that and it’s some of the nicest hand drawn computer effects integrated stuff I’ve seen, some lovely sweeping landscapes very Ford like. Between this and Treasure Planet I wish Disney hadn’t given up hand drawn, Princess and the Frog was nice but that was a lot of shit we had seen before animation wise and story wise.

    So yeah if you love America then yeah you should at least check it out, and if you love Disney animated films you should see it. I just didn’t fall in love with it which is why it’s only a slight Disney film.

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