Source: Animal_Tranquilizer  [AIBN News Staff]

03.24.11  BENGHAZI, LIBYA:  Early Thursday, Muammar Qaddafi ordered planes into the sky in defiance of the “No Fly” zone that looks exactly like the country of Libya.  No plane had left the ground since NATO declared a ‘No Fly Zone’ over Libya and started bombing the shit out of anything that resembled Air Defense Equipment, including Anti-Aircraft Missile Batteries, airplanes on the ground, helicopters, and the famous Libyan Flying Tank Brigade. Additionally, 3 ice cream trucks were bombed to shit and back for “playing that stupid fucking music, over and over again” said one US Air-recon Pilot who wished to remain anonymous.

Qaddafi ordered “Get Something in the air, now!” in defiance of the No Fly Zone. After what was called an “Epic Rock, Paper, Scissors Match”, a pilot was finally chosen to “lead the others” into the sky. Sources say the other pilots started taking bets on how long the plane would remain airborne while they hid in a bunker getting “ready to follow”.

The Libyan warplane, a Soko G-2 Galeb, was flying over Misrata before being blown from the fucking sky; it’s flight of approximately 8 minutes netted Habib Teyrawah about $38 US Dollars in the Death Pool. When asked about the encounter, the French pilot said “I’m fucking insulted. Here I am flying zee balls-out Mirage and zis fucker jumps off zeh ground with zee equivalent of a goddamned ’74 Pinto. I was actually embarrassed to waste ammo on zat hunk of shit”. Industry experts say that the Soko G-2 Galeb was built by Yugoslavia between 1964 and 1985 and has an unpressurized cockpit, limiting its ceiling to under 10,000 feet.

“You see zis sexa Mirage behind ma?” asked The French Pilot. “Zis is ze Ferrari of ze skiez, and zey send up a fekin’ Yugo to take me on!” spit the Pilot, obviously distraught about having wasted a $180,000 missile on an enemy plane that costs $143.38 on the US market. The Pilot then threw his helmet down and walked away, cursing under his breath.

Its uncertain if the Libyan pilot was able to eject from the plane, or if they just “tucked and rolled” out since the planes top speed is low enough to hijack with a horse. Our newsteam was unable to find anyone in Libya that gave a shit about the pilots fate anyway. His C.O. only stated “That stupid bastard always throws paper on the third throw”.