An Intergalactic Warrior of Chaos Has Retuned to Valhalla

by Basement Cheetoh Eater and Abominable Snowcone.

It is with profound sorrow and heavy heart that we announce the passing of our friend and great mentor Cory Smoot (aka Flattus Maximus, lead guitarist of GWAR).  Flattus, 34 in human years…..1,673,948 in galactic cycles, was found dead on the band’s tour bus after a gig in Minneapolis.  There is no known cause of death at this time; but it’s widely believed that Flattus’ indomitable spirit rode the celestial World-Maggot home to prepare for the coming Ragnarok (the end of the world, to puny mortals like you and I). Minister Harold Camping is expected to release a statement later today acknowledging this as the first sign of the coming rapture he has so oft predicted.

We at AIBN have a special connection with GWAR.  Their lead singer, Oderus Urungus (known on earth by the detestable nickname ‘Dave Brockie’) has given interviews to our news team; and Abom and BCE have both met him, and the band, personally.  They remain an AIBN favorite…both for their refusal to sacrifice quality in the name of ‘better marketing potential’ as well as their generally vulgar but highly enlightened outlook on the futile quagmire that is the human race.

Some thoughts from the universal overlord of professionalism, Abominable Snowcone:

People can say what they like about GWAR, how they’re disgusting and profane, or how it’s damned peculiar that a bunch of forty-plus year old dudes get their kicks playing heavy metal while dressed head-to-hooves in centaur monster costumes.  There’s no denying the obsene context of a GWAR show–effigees are eviscerated, mock-ups of well known figures in popular culture decapitated.  The band is famous for bathing audiences with fake blood and semen, which issues freely from the severed (or highly aroused) prosthetic limbs of its onstage “slaves” and their victims.

But there’s also no denying that fewer bands work harder at their craft than GWAR.  Singer Dave Brockie and his Richmond, VA buddies designed those garrish latex costumes and mold all their props themselves.  They’ve been dressing up in the monster gear every other night for over 25 years and STILL playing technically-challenging metal music despite the wardrobe encumbrances.  Corey Smoot probably couldn’t see well out of his Flattus mask; he certainly had no peripheral vision onstage.  But such obstacles only pushed the band to play better, harder, and more accurately than they might have without the gear.  

I first saw GWAR in the mid-90s, before Smoot joined its ranks, and though I wasn’t familiar with their music then I laughed my ass off at their theatrics and marveled at their virtuosity.  Smoot, himself a GWAR fan before becoming a member, only brought more Professionalism to the freakish fold.  He will be missed.

Some thoughts from the insatiably hungry and petulant worldslayer, Basement Cheetoh Eater:

My first experience with GWAR was in 1988, when I was nearly suspended from the private Christian high school I was attending for an “offensive and satanic” album by a band called Hell-O (an awesome DRI’ish blend of metal and punk).  Within two years, I learned (from Kerrang! Magazine) that the band had changed their name to Gwar (short for Gwaaarrrgghhlllgh!) and had recorded a surprisingly eclectic mix of progressive and thrash metal titled ‘Scumdogs of the Universe’.

I began seeing them live whenever they toured (which, in California, wasn’t nearly enough).  In 1999, I moved to Virginia (just outside of Washington DC) and began seeing them a couple times a year…..GWAR’s out of Richmond VA so they play the 9:30 club in DC regularly.  After a show in 2003, I was invited by a friend who was the bar manager there to meet the band backstage. They were almost as vulgar offstage as they were on….but they were also warm, friendly guys who were surprisingly blue-collar and workmanlike in their sensibilities.  They viewed it “as a job”; whether it was the latex-splattered creation process of bringing the crazy costumes to life…or finding suitable female roadies willing to wear the slavegirl outfits (and collars), they were very connected to exactly what they were: entertainment first and music second.  

That’s not to say that their music was lacking…every album or two, they’d have a tune which would easily demonstrate that they can play with the best of ’em.  Their musicianship was better than most would give them credit for – And Smootie was probably their most adept player.  He could wear 40 pounds of latex rubber and aluminum, and still grind solo after solo out for three hours (while blood spurting from giant 7 foot penises would cover the crowd in red and white goo). This isn’t something many can do…let alone do it about 150+ times a year (which is how often they do shows…a huge portion of their income is from their live performances).  As a guitarist myself, I’ll miss Smootie’s willfully idiosyncratic playing.  And as a fan, I’ll miss the great Flatulent Gladiator of Space.  The band isn’t quite complete without him.