Suspect Karin Mackaliunas
SCRANTON PA – Authorities in Pennsylvania have arrested a 27 year old woman for reportedly smuggling over 100 items (including 54 bags of heroin and over $50 in loose change) in her fetid womb. Police say Karin Mackaliunas was arrested after a break-in at a Scranton Holiday Inn and struggled while being put into the squad car. Upon doing so, she began to leak change from her ‘gasm chasm like a slot machine. Police also found 3 heroin ampules in her jacket and a bottle of amphetamines. In shock from her arrest, the suspect admitted she was carrying additional illicit items in her person. She was rushed to a medical facility where the remainder of the 100 items was removed from her gaping freak-like crotchmaw.
Medical professionals at Mercy Hospital in Scranton were baffled by the sheer volume of objects she was able to tuck in her guapo.