Battle Los Angeles
Directed by Jonathan Liebsman
Starring Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez
SSgt. Nantz is a 20 year-in Marine who’s ready to retire. Turns out he should’ve retired a day earlier.
We begin the film 24 hours later, as the Marines are being choppered in to an LZ for as-yet unknown reasons. Cut to 24 hours earlier and we are introduced to each character one by one. We see events slowly progress around the world as the Marines do, via television. When the shit hits the fan, nobody really knows exactly what the fuck is happening but you know how it is, “First to go, last to know”. Turns out aliens are coming in from the shores after crashing into the sea disguised as pesky “meteorites”. The Marines must now do a house by house sweep and rescue any civilians before a massive air strike.
They don’t find many.
The rest of the film is a Blackhawk Down-scenario door-to-door crawl.
No, I will not tell you what happens. Why? Because it’s worth your hard earned $$$ to get your ass to a cinema to see it. There is an especially professional scene where Two Face tries to figure out how to kill one though.
32% on Rotten Tomatoes just goes to show once again that critic’s heads are so far up there own fucking tight asses they can’t just give themselves over to something and enjoy it. This is the best movie I’ve seen this year and certainly the best film I’ve seen since Inception. Everything hit home with me, the cinematography and effects were fucking top drawer, I know what you’re saying it was all “U.S.A.U.S.A” rahrah bullshit. They’re fucking Marines, not a bunch of shoegazing cunts on a lunch break from the hipster used clothing store, whatdya expect?
People may have a problem with the simplicity of the reasoning behind why they’ve decided to colonize our planet, they need our water. Or maybe our delicious powdered drink Tang, a favorite of NASA astronauts. Or maybe they just wanted to get their hands on Bridget Moynahan and tell her to stop plucking her fucking eyebrows.
This year hasn’t been so shit hot so far for films, Drive Angry sucked scrote, The Mechanic was about 70% engaging, I quite enjoyed The Green Hornet though but I’ll put BLA at the top of my list so far this year. We’ll see how 2011 turns out. Judging by the trailers they’ve been showing, I’m less than thrilled.
Ahhh fuck that, SMILE Godammit.
5 out of 5 Fists.